TITLE: "New Millennium: Scenes from a Recuperation" BY: Ten E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au CATEGORY: V; Angst; MSR (Married); AU; hints of an X-File RATING: Light R to be on the safe side - for mention of 'offscreen' consensual adult situations SUMMARY: A time of rest and recovery before the next storm. TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: "Requiem" and its resolution - our version of events anyway. This is part of Vickie Moseley and my "New Millennium" series, which goes into alternate universe after 'Millennium'. We have definitely gone even more alternate universe in these "Requiem" installments than what was on screen - for example, in our stories Mulder was only abducted for six weeks and definitely did not get buried in a coffin for months. The stories are on my website (see below). As self-contained as we try to make each installment, reading the others first would probably be a good idea ;) Note: This story has some scenes that are set before the last posted installment of the series (which was Vickie's "New Millennium: Agent Michels Speaks"), and some set afterwards . ARCHIVE INFO: It goes to Gossamer through xff. Can be archived anywhere as long as our names, addys and disclaimer stay intact. FEEDBACK: Love it. THANKS TO: Gerry, Mac, Suzanne, Debbie, Sally, Judie and Vickie. The stories in this series are available at Ten's website, thanks to the wonderful Arria: http://bitter-moon.com/tenxffic/index2.html And a new site is currently under construction at: http://ten.bitter-moon.com/xf DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder and Scully and all other characters from the show belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be gained. Characters not recognized from the show are ours. "New Millennium: Scenes from a Recuperation" By Ten Written July to September 2003 xXx A day or so after Mulder's release from the hospital following his abduction, he and I were lying in bed, half- watching the TV. Months ago, he promised me a 'proper' wedding with my family present, since our first one was so rushed. I had decided his homecoming and our impending parenthood were ample reasons to take him up on his offer. "What sort of a wedding would you like, Mulder?" I asked. "I've already had it," he replied, kissing my forehead. "What? You and me in clothes that we'd tussled with zombies in, the both of us injured - you in a sling - in front of a justice of the peace after driving all night from D.C. to Connecticut? Never let it be said that you're not a romantic!" "You were there and you said 'I do' in the right place. That's all that matters to me," Mulder said firmly. "And that's going to happen this time too," I answered with certainty. "Good. So this time you can have the wedding that you want, because I kind of kidnapped you for the first one." "Bridenapped." I looked over at the collection of framed photos on the sideboard. One of them was from our aforementioned wedding - a head and shoulders shot where I had positioned myself to hide the sling as best I could and Aunt Deb tried to take the photo on an angle to avoid revealing the scratch marks on my neck. And I was in a black pantsuit instead of a white gown. But all that didn't really matter. The expressions on our faces said it all. That this was our wedding and how happy we were. Mulder continued, "So you can sort out all the little details that women find so fascinating and important about weddings, like getting napkins in a shade that matches the bridesmaids' dresses, and I'll stay right out of the way and save my sanity and my strength for the wedding night." I burst out laughing. "Mulder, you've already taken care of the consummation part of things. Extremely well - I've got the sonogram and the morning sickness to prove it! Not to mention a rather devilish grin at the memories." I was at the end of the first trimester of pregnancy. "But if we're going to renew our vows we might as well repeat the really fun stuff too! Instead of driving all night I'll keep you up all night in another way." He gave me a smouldering look. He certainly kept me 'up' last night in our dreams - somehow since he came home we've been able to share dreams and have quite a time in them. Extremely real and *extremely* pleasurable. "I'll hold you to that promise." I gave him a matching look, then transferred it to the lone remaining cupcake in the packet that was beside me on the nightstand. Pregnancy cravings won out. I picked the cupcake up and paused long enough to say, "Anyway, wedding-wise, if we have it before the end of October, we should get good weather. How does a rose garden sound to you? It's something I've had in mind since I was a little girl, from a book I read." "That sounds great for the pictures." "Not just for the photos, Mulder. For the ceremony itself." I took a big bite out of the prolific icing. Bliss. My husband stared at me. "You want an outdoor wedding? But - I thought you'd want to get married in your Church?" "We're renewing our vows and I already made you go through the blessing of the rings." "Well, that wasn't THAT strenuous!" I smiled. After devouring some more icing, I told him, "I don't have to have a church wedding. Really. Something low-key will be fine, but this time we get to dress up and have family and friends there. We could have it on the Columbus Day weekend. Then we'd get the Monday for our honeymoon. I love the rose garden at the back of the Shakespeare Library. I think they still have an auditorium there that would do for the reception. And the roses would be beautiful." Mulder nodded. "Roses are in a way fitting. We've had some thorns in our time on our way to full bloom." "Very true," I replied. "Stop me if there's anything you don't agree with." "Not so far. And what attire would you like me to turn up in?" "I'd like you in a tux. You look so good in one. I remember you in a tux in Boston once, though I can't say I approved of your dance partner at the time." He gave me a look and I gave him one straight back. "Then I had to wait for ages before you wore one again." "Then you'll get to have me in a tux." "I certainly will!" I ran my tongue around what remained of the icing on top of the cupcake. "Hmmm. Something tells me I'd better *buy* a tux, otherwise I'll lose the rental deposit," Mulder muttered. Probably a wise move. After all, when we returned to our motel after the premiere of the movie 'The Lazarus Bowl', I about ripped his attire off him in my haste and desire.... Bad movie, but sexy husband! "I'll let you go tieless," I added. "Really? Wow, Agent Scully, you keep surprising me." "I've got some ideas for my dress too. Something with an empire waist that allows for baby and all these cupcakes!" I wondered why I couldn't be craving something healthy instead.... Oh well, in another week or so, I could well be. Or I could end up wanting something even more decadent. "But would you be showing much at that stage?" Mulder asked. "We'll have to see! Best to be on the safe side anyway." "Will you get Mom or Walter to give you away?" "Actually, I'd kind of like Bill to." I watched Mulder's face for a reaction. He did his best to hide his 'I've just been tripped while sprinting' look, but not with much success. And I think he was hoping that I was joking. "Mulder, Bill is the closest I've got to having my father there in the flesh. I think my brother is adult enough to do the job now, and that he's accepted us being together. Especially since we've been married since January and have a baby on the way. Let's give him a chance. And if we ask, he might even be pleased at the honor." My husband mustered a smile, but his words were sincere. "If that's what you want, then okay." My oh-so-clever husband didn't think that I then heard him mutter, "If Bill gets leave," and snort. Mulder wanted me to be happy but if fate happened to step in he sure wasn't going to spit in its eye. However, I thought he would come around to the idea. After all, he kept telling me it would be *my* day! xXx The next day, I was going through mail and making a grocery list at my desk in our bedroom. I had taken time off work to be with Mulder when he was in the hospital and was also on leave for the first part of his recovery at home. The plan was that I'd go back to work on half days next week for a start. My husband was fresh from a nap, and reading the paper. But then he put it down and I could sense that he was watching me, wanting to talk. So I went over and sat beside him. He put his arm around my waist. "What's wrong, Mulder?" "Not 'wrong'. I was just thinking... About the next months. One thing we have to work out is what's going to happen work-wise now that we're going to be parents." "True. That's something I've been meaning to discuss with Walter as well." Mulder hesitated. "I must admit, the idea of you going on a case while pregnant.... I don't mean anything sexist or caveman by that - I know you can't be wrapped in cotton, but considering how much a miracle your pregnancy is and how much we've wanted a baby...." He tailed off with: "You're going to shoot me again, aren't you?" "No. I understand where you're coming from." "I know you wouldn't do anything to risk the baby, but a situation can suddenly turn serious within an instant when an agent is on a case." I replied, "And the same with you. Just like there's a risk for me, there's also a risk that even if I go and teach or do deskwork for the rest of the pregnancy that something could happen to *you* while you're on a case, and the baby won't have a father... Which was a near enough thing recently." His other arm went around me too and I put my hand over his. "I must admit that I've been more focused on the here and now - looking for you while taking care of myself, and then concentrating on your recovery. And also being focused on keeping the X-Files running while you were gone and while you're recuperating. I haven't really had the luxury to think beyond those points." "So I guess it's time to start thinking about our options. And what you want to do." I said, "I'm not sure yet. I need to get used to the idea of long-term thinking instead of just the next few weeks at a time." "Okay. When you come back to work after the baby is born, the FBI has that parental program, don't they?" I nodded. Either of us could work sixteen to thirty-two hours a week on a prorated pay basis, to balance work and family. We could jump in and out of the program as needed. "I'd get to keep my seniority and can come back full time when I want to. So I could do part time after my twelve weeks of maternity leave are up. And you can cut your hours back through the program when you need to as well." "That will be very handy." "And at the moment there's time to think over our options and then decide, instead of rushing in," I said. "We don't have to search for Sam any longer...." At that he blinked hard. "Remember what we talked about: how we want to spend as much time as possible with our child or children, but we don't want the Consortium or any other trouble brewing because no one was looking. For everyone's sake, not just our family's. We know there are UFOs. We know there were..." I hesitated, then continued, "...plans for possible colonization." Mulder nodded. "Yeah. And we'll have to do a good job of training any help we do get. So, from what you've told me, I gather that Michels is a skeptic?" She was the new partner that Walter had assigned to me while Mulder was missing. "Through and through." He was unconcerned. "I've always enjoyed a challenge." xXx Things were going well, so I started going back to work on half days. Started is the operative word. That very first day Mulder had two panic attacks - the first one at home, the second in the ambulance that was taking him to the hospital. They were so severe that the EMTs mistook them for heart attacks. When they hit, I felt his distress even over that distance. And we both knew it was because I hadn't been there with him. He ended up in the hospital again for observation. I knew that with this setback he wouldn't be strong enough to come with me for the appointment with my obstetrician in a few more days. And after everything that had gone on, I didn't want to delay it, as much as I wanted him there. Making sure our baby was okay after all the stress was the main priority. My doctor worked out of the same hospital, so I contacted him and explained the situation. He was able to get me an earlier appointment, which I went to while Mulder was asleep, with Mom keeping an eye on him. Fortunately no 'separation anxiety' occurred. When I told Mulder afterwards, he was disappointed but understood, and was glad that everything was okay. Not to mention he was determined to make it to the next appointment. I told him I had a surprise for him from this one. He expected another sonogram, but another of those would not be done until I'm about five months pregnant. This time my surprise was a recording of our baby's heartbeat. Mulder's doctor pronounced my husband as healthy as a horse - albeit a very weak horse. So when Mulder came home, he had a cane and strict instructions to use it. "The more you use it now, the quicker you'll be able to get rid of it," I told him. My husband actually concurred with the barest of grumbles. I guess what happened really scared him, and he didn't want to give me any more cause for alarm. After the physical therapist came and gave Mulder a session, I expected my husband to be exhausted enough to have a nap. Instead I peered into our room to find him lying on the bed, staring hard at the ceiling. I went and sat beside him. "Mulder, are you okay?" He nodded. "I was just wondering.... Pondering. When I was discharged from the hospital after my abduction, I was pretty weak, but I'd made 'remarkable' progress to get discharged that quickly. Then after a day or so I seemed to 'regress'. I felt weaker. Not enough to end up back in the hospital, but definitely not as strong." "Well, you'd had the upheaval of coming home - you were so determined to get home that you might have pushed too hard and then once here it all caught up with you," I reminded him. "That's not uncommon. Plus on the day AND night of your homecoming we discovered we had that little psychic sex connection going on. It was so real that it would have burned through some of your energy reserves." I could tell from the look on Mulder's face that he thought there was more to it than that. I've seen that look often enough in our time. He was mentally shifting thoughts and observations around in his head like puzzle pieces, trying to find a pattern. He continued, "Then I had the panic attack and ended up back in the hospital - and needed this cane when I was discharged. How can I be weaker from panic attacks than from the state I was in after my abduction?" "Mulder, those 'panic attacks' were so strong that I felt them and they were mistaken at first for heart attacks. You've been through a hell of a lot, and this is your body telling you it needs rest. More rest than you usually, grudgingly, allow it." "Are you saying I'm getting old?" he teased, then looked serious. "Mulder, I know you're worried - but the likelihood of you ending up on permanent disability from this is very slim. You won't have that cane forever. It's just until you regain some more strength." "It's not just that - if I had such a strong reaction that first time you were out of the house and away from me, then I'm really messed up. If that keeps happening, goodbye to me being an agent! But I think that something is at work here, and those attacks are 'offshoots' or 'glitches' of it instead of the main thing." "Those attacks seemed pretty real to me! What do you mean 'instead of the main thing'?" "Well, since I was returned, I've had a rather good success rate at 'whammying' people, influencing them to do what I want. Some people, anyway. Walter, Mom. Though Byers took a lot of effort and Frohike was nada. And we know from all the hospital tests that I don't have a brain tumor, so that rules out the 'Pusher' angle." I couldn't really deny that something was going on. We were definitely sharing dreams and sometimes sensing each other's feelings while awake. Missy would have been so proud of me! Or amused. And then there was how I was able to feel his panic attack.... Also, he had been able to get Mom to do things that he wanted without even having to say anything, like bringing him a drink of a certain flavor or a snack that was 'off limits'. At first I thought it was simply that Mom was being Mom - great at working out in advance through instinct and love as to what her adopted son wanted or might need. Especially after already raising four kids. But a few times when Mom was downstairs Mulder asked me to think up something out of the ordinary and when I did, he would concentrate, and sure enough, Mom soon appeared, bearing it. ("Here's your drink, dear. I'm not sure why I brought this potted plant up with me, I think it was to put it in that window where there's more sunlight." At that point we stopped, not wanting Mom to develop a complex that she was getting addle-minded.) Mulder continued telling me his list of oddities: "This power of suggestion, the shared dreams we've been having, the fact that I'm the only survivor of the abductees, that rapid recuperation, how you and I seemed to be connecting at times when I was gone..." "What do you think it is?" "I keep thinking about that rubbing from the UFO in Africa. It seemed to trigger something in my brain. This feels a bit like that, though not overwhelming." "Kritschgau mentioned it might have something to do with the alien virus you were exposed to, but he didn't make clear which one. There was the retrovirus and the black cancer." "That could be a factor. I may be the only person exposed to both who has lived. People like Billy Miles also experienced strange brain activity, but all those other abductees died. Who knows whether my exposure to the viruses saved me? And you've had a few run-ins yourself with strange medical things. Being stung by the bee. The cancer." "As far as we know, I'm the only one to survive that cancer. Thanks to another chip," I said quietly. Mulder gently caressed my hand, and said, "When I first started experiencing the aural dissonance after we were given the rubbing, Chuck Burns talked about magic squares, the trapping and storing of potential power for a person whose name or numerical correlative exercises that power. Since you rescued me from the DOD there have been a few instances where that power could have come back into play. And I'm not reaching with that - remember my miraculous recovery from those snakebites? You said that you saw symbols from the craft in Africa flash up on the medical equipment I was attached to." "I did." "Perhaps what happened to me on the UFO set it off again. Whatever 'it' is. Somehow I survived all those snakebites and also whatever happened to me on the UFO, which obviously was not any sort of health regime." True. More like 'starve the human', from the state of Mulder and the other returned abductees. I said, "If this power is kicking in again, and not just in a single healing surge, but more regularly, then the tests and the brain scans that you had during your hospitalization would have shown the activity. Like when the rubbing or whatever it was started to affect you. Also, you should be near comatose from it, like you were back then." "The comatose part mainly came from the drugs they were giving me," he countered. "The mental opening up of my brain was overwhelming at first, but I got the feeling it could be controlled. Turned off or on, and fine-tuned like a volume dial. And there was a point where I could control the 'frequency' - mind reading was just one of the possibilities, but it was so.... I was too drugged up to be able to experiment with these abilities. Then it was gone. Or turned off. The times the tests were run during this hospital stay, it wasn't happening. Just as well, or I'd have become a lab rat." "And the power is smart enough to know when to 'hide'? Or power down?" I asked. "Perhaps *I* was doing that. Perhaps subconsciously I've learned how to tap into it or use it more subtly. I just wish I knew how to do it consciously! Doing the whammy might be drawing the energy away from healing me. That could explain why I got weak again after my discharge from the hospital. I could be using this power, but healing myself takes a lot of energy, so although I heal physically, I'm drained for a while mentally. Hopefully these panic attacks were just due to some sort of 'hiccup' in that power and -" "A 'disturbance in The Force'?" I said with heavy irony. He gave me a look and kept plowing along, "- or it amplified my anxiety to a huge degree. But now I'm aware of that and should be able to prevent such a strong reaction from happening again. Hopefully. What do you think?" "I think that life with you is never, ever dull!" I retorted in amused awe. "The way your mind works - even when you're just using the normal human percentage of brainpower...." "Or perhaps I'm not. It could explain some of my spooky leaps." "You were making those way before you came in contact with that rubbing." "Anyway, if I try to open my mind, to focus mentally on my healing as well as physically.... And also try to meditate and limit the whammy, then see what happens. That could help me. It's worth a try, and I might have another healing spurt." If he believed in this, then it was something for him to focus on. It would save him getting down in the doldrums about the possibility of being on permanent disability. And anything that would make him rest was fine by me. "If you're going to cut down on such things, are you going to limit our shared x-rated dreams?" I asked. His "Noooo" was very emphatic. "I thought not! But if you're correct, then these nocturnal nookies might be affecting your recovery too." "No, I think that the bond between you and me is something even beyond that. Beyond whatever is in our chemical makeups due to what we've been subjected to - our bond is spiritual. Or we're so close, so connected, that this link we have isn't really draining. It's as natural as breathing." He had to stop to yawn. "This should be interesting...." I said. "Now try not to whammy anyone while I'm in the bathroom!" Mulder watched me as I got up. I saw him concentrate a little, and suddenly I felt a tingling, a glow. And it felt like I was being held, despite Mulder being several feet away. "That's easy," he said. "But if I tried that with Frohike -" "You'd better not!" "If there was any of the Gunmen that I couldn't 'reach' with the whammy, I'd have put money on Langly. What all those years of heavy metal must have done to his brain...." Mulder mused. "Frohike has unexpected depth," I said with a smile. "Yeah. He's the one who brought flowers to the hospital when you were in the coma." "And who showed up on my doorstep upset when he thought you'd been killed in that boxcar blaze." xXx Due to Mulder's 'separation anxiety', I got permission from Walter to work from home for a little while. During that time I went out for short periods while Mom or the guys were with him, not far at first, "to wean me off you" Mulder joked. "Good practice for the baby!" We both knew that I could be home very quickly if anything happened. I'd feel it even before anyone hit the speed dial to tell me. Agent Michels came by to go over some files and paperwork with me. It was the first time that she and Mulder had met properly. He insisted sitting in on our meeting, and he showed that he could still cut it in the profiling department by looking through a report about bodies being found near a crop circle and quickly concluding that there was a human killer instead of aliens. Afterwards, Mulder and I had a very nice joint nap (with extras) together. Intercourse was still unfortunately in the realm of our shared dreams (but fortunately it certainly still felt very real!) but outside of those we were still able to have and give very satisfying and sensual 'stroking sessions'. My bells certainly rang. Being able to touch him again was wonderful. And to be touched. After our nap and fun, I asked him, "So, what do you think of Agent Michels?" "If I say that she reminds me of you when we first started working together, will I regret it?" He eyed me like he was poised to grab his nearby cane to fend me off with if I got mad. "It's okay. I've already come to that conclusion myself. Very disconcerting, let me tell you!" "Want to place bets about how long she's going to stick around?" "She will for a bit. I think she figures that being given this assignment means she's on somebody's blacklist, so she will 'pay her dues' and avoid asking for a transfer because of what it will do to her in the eyes of her superiors. But once she gets the opportunity to move out of the basement, she'll grab it. And if you don't stop trying to whammy me every five minutes, I can't blame her! She already thought we were weird *before* that visit." Mulder looked anything but guilty. "I was just trying to help you relax. You were getting tense, and that's not good in your condition. So I mentally soothed you. Like giving you a back rub or foot rub." "It had more 'za-zing' in it than a foot rub does! Or a full body massage, in fact!" "She probably just thinks it was your hormones and me living up to my Spooky persona. And think of the challenge we'll have in converting her to believe in UFOs and the paranormal." "You've never been one to back down from a challenge." "Well, all those years of working away at you finally paid off!" He tapped my wedding ring. Then he looked at it wistfully and sighed. "I miss not having my ring." "We didn't really get to wear them in public much together, did we? But our renewal of vows is coming up soon enough, and I'll have a new one ready for you then. But as nice as they are, they're a symbol. So don't beat yourself up about losing it, or my cross. You're what I wanted back!" He had both with him when he was abducted. I think he was considering buying a new cross and necklace as his wedding present to me. I accidentally overheard part of a furtive conversation between him and Mom on the subject. Mom said that Melissa also got a cross identical to mine when we were teenagers but never wore it, and she would try to find it over the next few weeks. xXx We were on Mulder's old couch in our family room in front of our new TV. I was watching a show but Mulder wasn't interested in it, so he was reading one of our growing collection of books about pregnancy. After a while my show finished and Mulder took a break, so we lay and talked about how the wedding plans were progressing. I was feeling so happy and content. "Want to know something?" I asked. "Depends what it is," he replied jokingly. I poked him and said, "This: there isn't a word invented yet that can describe how much I love you." He gave a beautiful smile that turned into a grin. "Maybe not a word, but an act," he commented. I returned the grin and raised an eyebrow. "Sex?" "For once, no." He gestured to the TV. "You got me a plasma TV AND the all sports package on dish. One hundred and forty channels, all sports, all the time. It must be love." "It is." I didn't want him getting bored while he was 'trapped' at home. Hopefully down the track I won't regret buying him that TV and package - like when I want him to do something around the house or change the baby and he's fixated on the screen for hours on end instead. But just as long as he is there I'll be happy even while frustrated. Much better than not having him there at all. After a pause, I tell Mulder, "I want to go in to work tomorrow for a few hours." "I'll be okay. You've been weaning me successfully." "But those were shorter trips. Not as far. I don't want you having any more attacks like that." "Yeah, where not even sports on the TV could make me forget how much I was missing you!" "Well, that would have to be the ultimate male compliment to a woman," I said wryly. Mulder reassured me, "I'll be all right. I haven't had any more attacks and I'm doing fine. And remember, I think I've figured out what was causing it. Besides, you have to go in to work. I want your leave time to be saved for when the baby comes, not for looking after me. Not that it hasn't been nice.... But I hate being so needy." He looked down at the floor. "Mulder, after what we've been through, I have a hard time letting you out of my sight too. It's perfectly natural." He smiled and kissed me. "Things will be fine tomorrow. I know that my family extends to more than just you now. Mom has been great. Oh - Byers wanted to know if we want to borrow a book of baby names. Or he can give us some great websites to look up." "Well, there are some obvious choices for baby names," I told him, threading our fingers together. "Like Sam or Melissa or William?" "Yes. But what do you think about them?" Mulder looked thoughtful, then said, "If you want to name the baby any of those, then we can, but I guess I'd prefer them as second names. I'd like our child to have his or her own identity. Their own name. However I'm just happy to be having a kid, and you're the one who has to do all the carting and huffing, so it's really your call. You're earning it." xXx I was able to go into work for a few hours on that Monday as planned without Mulder experiencing any problems. We talked on the phone once during that time anyway, just to be on the safe side. His physical therapy was going well and he was trying to keep any inadvertent whammying to a bare minimum and meditate instead, trying to 'enhance and optimize' the speed of his recovery. Though there was one point where we had a plumber around and I was showing him the problem while Mulder watched. The plumber seemed outwardly very professional as he listened to me, though I was more focused on the pipes than him. But suddenly Mulder said in a very alpha male tone: "Buddy, that's my WIFE!" Cue one beet red plumber (and not with anger), who became very rattled. After he left, or rather, fled, my husband insisted that he was not making it up. "That guy was mentally ogling you - undressing you, in fact. I know that any man's eyes would linger over your lovely form, but this jerk was really going to town. It was coming through to me in stereo. It's a wonder he could concentrate - I sure couldn't!" xXx We were back on the couch again, cuddling and contentedly watching TV, when Mulder suddenly said, "Scully, I think I'm well enough to 'thank you' for the TV setup." I started to say, "Huh?" then he shifted his body and I realized - or rather felt - the point that Mulder was making. We'd been having regular 'psychic sex' of a night together when asleep, but with Mulder's recovery then rehospitalization and resulting setback, we hadn't *physically* done the full wild thing since he was taken from me. But right now Mulder's fox was showing signs of life while we were both awake. "Then lie back and enjoy while I accept your thank-you wholeheartedly," I told my husband, gently pushing at his shoulder to move him onto his back. He tugged me to him for a kiss that got very hot very quickly, and oh yes the fox was wanting out of confinement. As I started to undress Mulder, I said, "This brings back memories...." "Hmmm?" he replied distractedly, his hands wandering. "Of our wedding night. Our honeymoon. This position was the order of the day, mostly, until your arm was better. Every time since, it's had special meaning to me." "You're staring at me like I'm the icing on one of your cupcakes...." "Well, you are my ultimate craving." Wonderful mayhem ensued. The dreams had been wonderful and satisfying, but nothing beat the real thing! Afterwards we dozed in each other's arms under a blanket and came back to earth to realize that an opera was now playing on the TV. Mulder frowned at the screen. "What the heck is this? I think they're singing it in English, but I can't tell for sure! I hate opera...." "Well, if you can find the remote, we'll change the channel." I stared at the actors, trying to work out which opera it was. "I think it's 'Dido and Aeneas'." The remote was not easily at hand, so we ended up leaving the show on. As the events unfolded, I shook my head. "Of course that's all legend or writer's license. The real Dido was a completely different woman. No soap opera dalliances with passing Trojan heroes. She was strong and clever. She founded the city of Carthage." Mulder nodded. "That's right. And Dido wasn't her real name. I think it was actually Elissa. Is that right?" "Yes." Suddenly we both stared at each other, thinking the same thing. "I like that name," Mulder said. "So do I. But it's 'Melissa' without the 'M'," I pointed out. "Well, that makes it different enough. And not only does it contain some of Melissa's name but it also has an 'E' for Emily and a 'Sa' for Sam. I think it's a perfect fit! A tribute but individual enough at the same time. If we do have a girl, her nickname could be Ellie or Ella." He was winning me over. "It is a strong and lovely name...." "Matches her mother!" "Well, since you're on a roll, how about a middle name then?" I asked, wondering if he would suggest the names of either of our mothers. "I would say 'Dana' but then you'd counter with 'Fox' for a boy and there's no way I'm doing that to my offspring! Waitaminute - a- ha!" He pointed to the brochure we had got from the Shakespeare Library, of the garden we were going to get married in. "Elissa Rose Mulder." "Damn, you're good!" I replied, impressed. He smirked. "I have many talents, wife. You of all people should know that!" "Okay, Mr Abundant In Many Forms Talent. How about boys' names?" "You're a slave driver! Give me overnight to have a think, okay? Actually, I've picked for a girl. You get to pick for a boy. Only fair." I thought for only a moment and then smiled devilishly. "I'm not sure I like that look on your face," he told me. I ignored his snide remark and plowed on. "How about David?" "David? As in 'and Goliath'?" "Or as in that really cute guy who played opposite Minnie Driver in 'Return to Me'," I countered. "Him? Scully, I hate to break this to you, but the guy used to do soft porn." "Oh, so that's how you knew him already when we saw that movie. Mulder, he narrated 'Red Shoe Diaries'," I huffed. "And, okay, he did a few episodes of it as an actor as well as narrator. Risque, but hardly porn." My husband reared back to give me a look. "Okay, so he also did 'The Rapture' with Mimi whatshername, but that hardly qualifies him as a 'porn star'!" I said defensively. The man's body, especially that rear, deserved to be preserved on celluloid. I realized that Mulder's eyes were twinkling. "Been doing some 'remedial viewing', Scully? And we haven't even mentioned 'Kalifornia' yet." I tried to give him a glare, but I couldn't. Mulder hugged me to him tightly. "David it is then. David William, if you like. But I don't think it will be an issue. I have a feeling Elissa will come out the winner," he said, kissing my hair. "Is that the whammy talking?" I asked. He shook his head. "Maybe just 'Daddy Intuition'." xXx "Mulder, I've got a serious craving." "What does my lady require?" "Chocolate sauce and whipped cream." "Sure. On what?" "You. Your naked body." Mulder didn't miss a beat. "Sure. In any particular design, pattern or place, or just 'as it comes'?" "How about writing a message: 'Property of Dana Scully-Mulder. If lost or injured, please phone 555 -'" "That's probably a good idea. I get the feeling you're going to be so thorough with that tongue that I'm going to wake up without fingerprints in the morning!" I laughed, then started to suck provocatively on a digit. xXx "You reached new levels with that tongue of yours last night - and that's saying something! I think I need that cane again!" Mulder announced as he entered the room that will become the nursery. I was standing in the middle of the room, picturing various colors and themes, but I put that aside for a few minutes as I gave him a smug grin. He engulfed me in his arms. Mulder shook his head and said, "You worry me. Remember how we'd been married for about a month and you hid the fabric softener so that my silk boxer shorts had really bad static cling?" "It wasn't 'bad' at all! Nothing left to the imagination...." "Well, when does it get reciprocal? Because I remember you saying that you need new bras, especially with the landscaping that's going on up there." "Yeah, my hills are on their way to becoming mountains." Since I've become pregnant, my breasts have been going through 'sensitive periods'. Sometimes it is 'bad sensitive', where I don't want them touched, but sometimes it is 'good sensitive' where the sensations are so heightened.... Anyway, "Yes, I definitely do need new bras and I remember telling you that you can come too and help me with my selections." "Just say when." "We need to get baby things too, but I think that should be a separate trip." We'd been looking through catalogues in anticipation. Mulder had made some short trips out of the house, but needed naps and rest after each, which was understandable. At his last doctor's appointment, the doctor said that he was on track to requalify at work. We set up our bra shopping date for the next day. Then I went into work for a while. That night I woke up to find Mulder was having a nightmare. Since his return he had been averaging about one nightmare every few nights, but nothing he could remember in any detail when he awakened. I usually heard him starting to make distressed noises, and I would carefully and quickly wake him up. But this time he wouldn't wake up. He was still trapped in the nightmare and wouldn't respond to me. Instead, he was talking, almost yelling, in a hoarse, desperate voice. "Let me go, you bastards!! Let me go to her!! I have to protect her, I have to protect our child. Let me go you sick -" Fear gathered in me. "Mulder! Mulder, it's a dream. Wake up! You're in our bedroom! I'm here! It's over." "Help me - help me get back to her, to them. You understand, I can tell you do. You have to help me," he was begging someone - something? - desperately. Heedless of the risk of him accidentally hitting me, I pulled him into my embrace, still trying to wake him up. But I could sense that this nightmare - this memory - would not let him go until it had run its course. His breathing and heart were fast, but not to the degree of the overwhelming panic attacks he had. Still, I wanted to break him out of this, to stop his suffering. "No. Not without the others. I'm not leaving them here." His voice, though weak, was iron. "Yes, *now*! There is no other time. I couldn't live with myself if I left another human being behind on this ship, subjected to this torture. I'm not leaving without them." His body moved in my arms, and either through our link or my own imagination I sensed a painful but desperate shuffle down a corridor.... People so thin.... "Move. Move! Hurry!" Mulder said, eyes still closed. Then he woke up with a start. "Mulder, it's okay! You're safe - you were having a nightmare." He looked relieved and clung to me, taking deep breaths. I rocked him and kept up a stream of gentle, comforting words and sounds. After about five minutes his grip loosened, but he hadn't fallen asleep. He slowly sat up and said that he needed to get a drink. Before he got out of bed I asked him, "Do you remember what you were dreaming about?" I wasn't sure if I wanted the answer. He thought for a moment, then shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. "No...." I touched his cheek. "It's okay." He mustered a smile and went to get his drink. Deep inside me I knew that he was getting the memories back. That soon they were going to break through into his conscious mind.... THE END