TITLE: "Getting Some in the New Millennium"
BY: Ten
E-MAIL ADDRESS: kristena@ocean.com.au and/or
kristena@netconnect.com.au

CATEGORY: V; MSR; A; H
RATING: PG (a racy PG...)
SUMMARY: It's New Year's Day, and Mr & Mrs Fox Mulder are still
remembering (and arguing) about an old case.
TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: "First Person Shooter", "Requiem",
aspects of season eight. This is part of Vickie's and my "New
Millennium" series. It is set directly after "Kicking Butt in the
New Millennium", which was posted to celebrate our one year
anniversary of the series and M&S's wedding anniversary in the
stories. Not every season seven episode occurs in this alternate
universe, and some we have bent to our wills <G>.
ARCHIVE INFO: It goes to Gossamer through xff. Can be archived
anywhere as long as my name, addy and disclaimer stay intact.
FEEDBACK: Love it.
THANKS TO: Vickie, Gerry, Suzanne and Debbie for all the work and
patience. And a note to Nikki - I hope this fulfils a few
requirements you mentioned <G>.

The stories in this series are available at my website:
http://tenxffic.tripod.com

DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder and
Scully and all other characters from the show belong to Chris
Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are
used without permission. No copyright infringement is intended, no
profit will be gained. Characters not recognised from the show are
Vickie's or mine.


"Getting Some in the New Millennium"
By Ten, 6-7 & 9-11 January 2001

xXx

Mulder Residence
Georgetown
Early morning
1 January 2001

Scully stared in disbelief at her husband. This man was supposed
to possess a photographic memory? Not for his own foibles, of
course. Heaven forbid! "Fox... The tale that you just told has in
no way backed up your assertion that you can always perform
sexually after being injured."

"That's because I haven't finished it yet!" Mulder replied
defensively, sitting up straighter against the piled pillows of
their bed.

"Oh no," Dana said firmly. "*I* am going to finish it."

xXx

Silicon Valley, California
First Person Shooter Corporate Headquarters
April 27, 2000
Around 11pm

We're out. We're out of the game.

I hope.

It's a little room anyway - I think it's a holding module. From
the slightly distorted reflections that the polished metal walls
are showing me as I lie on the floor, it looks bare of cyber
trimmings and 'cyberbabe'. I turn my head towards Mulder. I think
I can hear that he is still breathing as he lies beside me, but
with my heart pounding and my blood pumping, I want some visual
proof.

Oh. Okay.

In 'Much Ado About Nothing', no-nonsense Beatrice remarks that she
can see a church by daylight.

Well, it might be twilight in this holding module, but I can see
there's one heck of a steeple in my husband's pants. It could be
just the codpiece though. Or I could be seeing what I want to
see... He's definitely staring at me with this expression like I'm
Joan of Arc and I've just led my army to victory, but the
intentions on his face are clearly anything but saintly, even
though sunglasses are hiding his eyes from me.

Come to think of it, I'm feeling that way too. That outfit he's
wearing shows off all his attributes in stereo and the physical
exertion and adrenalin rush we just went through has magnified it.

We've had the foreplay, now I want -

Oh damn, lust and love aren't the only things on his face.

"Mulder, you're bleeding." I hope that didn't sound plaintive. Or
furious. But inside, I'm raging.

Not again! Shi...I mean, sheesh, the man can get injured even in
cyberspace!

Don't get me wrong. At least he's not missing his hands or his
head. And playing Doctor or Nurse Dana can be quite fun in the
privacy of our bedroom - when Mulder is healthy and fit for some
serious fantasy mischief.

But now I'm all hormoned up with no chance to come. Great.
Brilliant.

I disregard one 'head' in favour of the other, which in a way is
just as well as the Gunmen chose this moment to discover us. I
glare at them. They still owe me for the Vegas debacle. Dragging
us out to Silicon Valley to help salvage their stupid video
shooter game... Mulder might be inwardly thanking them for getting
to meet Jade Blue Afterglow; however at the moment they are up
there next to Maitreya on my 'blow the crap out of' list.

Well, I did blast Maitreya - about 2309 times total, at the rate
she kept popping back up - so I can cross her off now. Hopefully
for good.

The Gunmen are practically falling over us with relief, helping us
up. Byers wilts under my glare.

Okay, I know the Gunmen weren't personally responsible for
creating that cyber 'sex kitten', but that sort of female
exploitation and these violent games really bug me.

Though I did it. I won the game! Yes!

I shelve my satisfaction to take another look at Mulder as we
leave the holding module. He's taken his glasses off and is still
giving me the bedroom eyes look. Once we get back out into some
decent lighting, I need to check him for concussion. Most people
would say that if someone is concussed, getting laid is the last
thing on their mind. My husband is not most people. At the moment
it is ALL that is on his mind. No room for pain.

For half a minute.

The spirit is willing, but unfortunately the damaged flesh starts
to protest and override his hormone/adrenalin surge. Mulder starts
talking gibberish and sways.

And from the way that he's now staring at Langly like he's got two
heads, he must be seeing double to cap it all off. He comes within
an inch of throwing up too. At this, the computer technicians Ivan
and Phoebe made themselves scarce, Ivan muttering something about
checking the control room. He will be dealt with.

The Gunmen help me get Mulder to the car then they stay back,
worried that I'll slay them on the spot. As I drive off, they're
clustered on the sidewalk like boys outside the principal's
office.

Mulder works out that I'm going to take him to the hospital
instead of to our motel. He protests. Insists he doesn't have a
concussion.

The only ache he wants taken care of is the one located below his
belt. He is very clear in spelling that out to me. Very
convincing. I want to believe. I mean, can the man - even my man -
possibly be this horny if he were THAT concussed?

The exit to the hospital is coming up. Should I or shouldn't I? He
does seem okay now, and I feel like a pressurised kettle set to
explode - but not with anger.

I pass the exit.

And Mulder barfs up his dinner.

Dammit. He couldn't have held his cookies for fifteen, twenty
minutes more? Just until our business was done?

Or if he was going to throw up anywhere, why not on the floor in
the First Person Shooter Corporation building? That would have
been a fitting statement on their product.

But, throw up he has. Okay, NOW I am set to explode with anger. I
am now morally, legally, ethically and personally obliged to get
Mulder to the hospital, and to not get any myself tonight. Not
only that, but we've lost our rental car deposit for sure.

I won the game, but if this is victory, it sucks.

xXx

The hospital staff set to the task of undressing my husband, a job
that I had been hoping to have the pleasure of in the privacy of
our motel room.

I wish I could ask them to spare that sleeveless shirt that shows
off his muscular arms and torso so well. I'll just have to buy him
another. I thought that Keanu Reeves looked great in 'The Matrix'.
Mulder looked even better.

We are being looked at with amusement and, in some cases, a degree
of disdain. I realise that not only is Mulder's outfit creating
ripples but I'm still in my entire combat gear outfit, complete
with yellow paint 'kill shot'. I didn't have time to change or
discard the vest or even think about that. They probably think
that Mulder and I got too carried away on some ridiculous juvenile
paintballing adventure.

I hear the nurse who is starting to apply scissors to Mulder's
pants declare caustically, "Men. The size of their codpiece is
always a total exaggeration." A few seconds later she gives an
awestruck: "Oh my!" From then on I don't hear boo from her. She
just keeps working with a stunned expression. Hey honey, watch
where you snip please... I've got an investment in that package
that I fully intend to cash in at the first opportunity I get.

I have to distract myself from my hormone overload. I try to think
about the case. I can't believe that it was the female computer
programmer, Phoebe, who created Maitreya. Okay, a female kick-ass
superhero was her retaliation against the testosterone she was
forced to endure with Ivan and the game-heads, but Maitreya was
still such a complete pander to the male fantasy of a perfect
woman that it wasn't serving our cause at all. An impossible
fantasy female. Okay, Jade Blue Afterglow may have been a very
much flesh and blood model for the psycho babe, but I bet a lot of
silicone and nips and tucks made her that way.

And how both Ms Afterglow and Maitreya were dressed... Just
thinking about that offends me all over again. Yes, of course,
bondage her up in leather!

Then a little voice in my head reminds me of the sexy leather
pants I bought as a wedding present for Mulder. That was a present
with definite intent, as much for my pleasure as for his... Though
that was for the privacy of our own bedroom, not the world at
large!

Perhaps when Mulder saw both Jade and Maitreya, he started to miss
his video collection a tiny bit - which he hasn't bothered with
since we got married - and couldn't resist trying the game on for
size. My husband may be a unique man, but he is still a man and
when Jade Blue Afterglow was sitting there in that interrogation
room in basically nothing but lingerie, he couldn't help but be
affected. Part of it may have been to play to all the male cops
clustered outside the room, and to wind me up a bit.

Well, I'll just have to make him forget all about Jade and
Maitreya. The sooner, the better!

There is no way now that First Person Shooter will be shipped out
as a game, but Ivan and his investors might pitch a fit about
these 'non-disclosure' stun suits being worn outside the
development company building.

Screw them.

Screw the rental car company too for the fit they are going to
pitch about the state of the inside of their rental car. In the
mood I'm in at the moment, getting one of those First Person
Shooter guns and getting back into that game and letting rip at
cyber baddies seems very appealing.

Which is very worrying.

xXx

Next day
Silicon Valley:

We're finally back at the motel.

Mulder had a CAT scan and fortunately his brain and skull are
fine. The cut on his forehead just needed some steri-strips to
close it instead of stitches. Yadda yadda yadda.

So, he was ready to go. But not hot to trot.

Because, unfortunately, we're both so exhausted and achy that
sleep is the only thing we're good for at the moment. The
rampaging tide of our hormones seems a lifetime away. We did get
some sleep at the hospital, but not of good quality - hospitals
used to try to keep people with head injuries awake, then got
upset if the patients got drowsy, so now they let the patient
sleep, but awaken them frequently and do neuro checks. So every
time that Mulder got disturbed, I'd wake up too. The poor excuse
for a chair I was uncomfortably scrunched in gave me as big a
headache as the one my husband had. Not to mention all the
paperwork and checklists and admin procedures and discussions with
the local law enforcement and the phone discussions I had with
Skinner...

Though at least he told us we could take a few days to come back
from Silicon Valley. Recover a bit. He just wanted the preliminary
report emailed to him as soon as I have the chance.

I wonder if we're going to be put on administration leave because
Mulder and I both fired guns during this case. Well, the guns
weren't actually ours and they were cyber bullets and I think I
fired mine the abovementioned 2309 times, so the paperwork will
certainly be interesting.

For now though, I simply curl up with my husband, being careful
that I don't bump the bandage on his head, and go to sleep.

xXx

The Gunmen came round to check on us - worried and guilty. I was
still too tired to torture them properly. Frohike went and fetched
us some take out, then they retired to their own motel, insisting
that we phone if they could be of any help.

There was some shopping I wanted done, but there was no way I was
going to get them to do it for me.

xXx

Eventually I feel human enough to do and send the preliminary
report and go do my shopping. When I return, Mulder is showing
signs of interest in things other than sleep.

"What have you got there?" He tries to peer at the bags I'm
carrying. It isn't double vision anymore - the room is still dim.

"Something," I reply with deliberate vagueness. I put the bags
down in the bathroom, then come out, boosting the lights a bit. My
husband looks very rumpled but reasonably recovered, sprawled out
on the bed. "Headache?"

"Nope, not now."

"Good. But you looked like you were trying to give yourself one
when I came in just now."

"Just thinking about the shooter game."

He's supposed to be the psychologist, not me. "Mulder, it had such
an effect on you, apart from the obvious reasons, because when you
get right down to it, men still haven't lost that caveman aspect
which makes them feel they should be out hunting down a tiger or a
deer or defending their home and hearth by going to war. Paintball
and shooter games seem to be seen as equivalents or substitutes in
this day and age."

He gives me a look. "You didn't even mention going off on quests
or discovering lost cities. Actually, come to think of it, hunting
down a sabre tooth tiger sometimes seems more achievable to me
than getting an alien or proving their existence. Or getting to
the bottom of the Consortium's plans."

He looks despondent at that. That isn't what I wanted. I give him
a gentle poke. "Hey, perhaps not so impossible. After all, you got
us together eventually, didn't you? That was quite a feat."

He grins. "Actually, I was thinking about the game for another
motive instead of analysing myself and my gender - because I was
hoping to recapture the mood we were in before we were so rudely
interrupted when we came out of it. Remember?"

"I've been thinking about that too. Give me a few minutes." I kiss
him on the cheek and disappear into the bathroom before he can
comment.

Soon...

"You seemed to like this on me, Fox." I step out into the bedroom
in a mock-up of my First Person Shooter combat gear.

That's got the eyes glowing. "My own personal warrior princess."

I grin. I'm turning Mulder on while showing a lot less than Xena
and Maitreya did. "So, you like?"

"I certainly do, though too bad you didn't get to keep and pack
that big gun that went along with it."

"Fox, I intend to play with that big gun right there in your
constant possession."

I get a good reaction from that. Two actually. A nice big leer on
his face and... Then I see his confusion as I hold up my hand in a
'but just one minute' signal and duck into the bathroom. There I
quickly shed the body amour. Then I return to the bedroom, just
wearing what I had on underneath.

'Just wearing' is a fitting expression, considering it is the
closest I could find to Jade Blue Afterglow's interrogation room
outfit.

"Or do you prefer this?" I model provocatively. Hey, it's not like
I'm going to pose for 'Playboy' in it. And I bought him some
revealing little outfits too.

Mulder makes a noise. It's a squeak.

"I know I'm not exactly built like Ms Afterglow..."

"Dana, this is better."

"That's nice of you to say."

"I'm telling the truth. With her I could only look. With you, I
can look and touch."

He does indeed.

xXx

Mulder Residence
Georgetown
Early morning
1 January 2001

"See - I did too perform."

"Yes, days or weeks after being discharged after each
hospitalisation, but not right away!"

"Ah, but sweet wife, I never stated or claimed that I could
'straight away'. Just that I DID perform."

"That's a very shaky argument."

"Let's ask an impartial third party then." At this, Mulder put his
hands on the baby-mound and leaned his face in close. "You agree
with Dad, don't you, kiddo? Kick once for yes and twice for no."

Two firm kicks were quickly delivered, an inch from Mulder's nose.
Scully burst out laughing.

Mulder took this with dignified grace. "Must be a girl. No pony
for you on your sixth birthday, miss."

"Knowing you, Mulder, you'll produce one on her or his *fifth*
birthday."

"Then I won't be making a liar out of myself, will I?"

Scully shook her head at her impossible man, then looked down at
her rather full figure. It seemed hard to believe that it was
going to get even bigger before this child was ready to come out
into the world.

"What are you thinking?" Mulder asked, sitting back against their
pillows and leaning in close.

"That there's no way I'd fit into that Jade Blue Afterglow
ensemble at the moment..."

"True, but I don't mind. That's a small price to pay. And you
stored the outfit -"

"If you could call it that."

"- in a drawer around here somewhere, so one day it can be brought
out of retirement."

"Well, I've certainly got the chest for it at the moment."

Mulder opened his mouth to comment, but then a thought seemed to
strike him.

"What?" Scully asked.

"You know, you were quite scornful of the whole first person
shooter thing, the big guns and skimpy cyberbabes, with guys
getting their ya-yas off through them, but when we got out of the
game, YOU were charged, and more than ready for some bedroom
action with MY gun."

She felt a strong urge to kill him, but that would just prove his
observation and, more importantly, it would leave their baby
fatherless. *That* had been too much of a possibility last year
without making it a reality now.

"YOU had that effect on me, Mulder. You in that outfit. NOT the
game itself."

Her husband gave her a shrewd look, then obviously decided that
either way he won, so dropped it. His tongue might have stopped,
but his hand started up, rubbing her thigh. Then he looked at the
alarm clock, which was near the bottle of apple cider and their
empty glasses, and his hand stopped and dropped. "Wow, I didn't
realise it was that late..."

"Time flies. It was quite a year, wasn't it?" she said softly,
looking into his eyes.

"Quite a lot of ups and downs." He stroked her abdomen. "And this
is a great 'up' to start this year on. Literally." His hand
twitched towards her thigh again, then he moved it away, looking
reluctant but determined. "Now we'd better get under the covers
and get some sleep."

Scully looked at him, startled. He asked her what was wrong.

"I could ask you that. We recreated our first kiss. I thought you
wanted to recreate more than just that too," she said.

Mulder put on his 'here I am trying to be on my best behaviour'
face. "Yeah, but that was before we got into reminiscing and now
it's very late and you're probably worn out and I thought I was
being a considerate and sensitive new aged man by offering to hold
out until morning!"

"Mulder, most of you can be as soft and sensitive as you like.
There's just one part of you that I want hard. For the next while,
at least. Let's make our own brand of entertainment."

They did indeed.


EPILOGUE:

April 2001

In the middle of the electronics store, Mulder's cellphone rang.
"Mulder."

"It's Langly."

'Gunmen' Mulder mouthed to his wife, who was about ten yards away.
She nodded and went back to her shopping.

Langly sounded edgy. "Did you say you were going to the mall
today?"

"Yeah, shopping with my girls. We just got here. Why, do you need
me to pick up some milk for you or something?" he asked mockingly.

"Uh, no. What store are you in?

"Best Buy." Mulder wondered where this was leading to.

"I think you might want to swing by their video games section.
Alone."

"Guys... If this is some informant -"

Langly sounded anxious. "It's not. Just do it, man. You'll see.
And we knew nothing about it until just now, you hear?"

"About what?" Mulder asked in exasperation, but the line had
already gone dead. He sighed and looked around. That particular
section was nearby. Okay then... Dana was examining a rack of CDs
absorbedly, the empty stroller at her elbow as she held their
sleeping daughter, but he was able to catch her attention and
indicate where he was going. Scully nodded, clearly thinking that
he was bored and wanted to go look at some gadgets, then returned
to her perusal while gently rocking Elissa.

Mulder started along the first aisle of the video games section.
"This had better be good..." Then he stopped dead.

There in front of his eyes was a display for a new computer game.
Part of it was a large cardboard cutout of the main character.

His wife.

Dazedly, his eyes travelled down the cutout's body. It was
definitely Scully's head and no-nonsense expression - albeit with
a dose of her bedroom eyes look thrown in as well. The
chest...well, his wife's breastfeeding breasts were around that
size, but hers were contained by a nice maternity bra at the
moment - the leather thong outfit the cutout was wearing was doing
little to contain or tame her assets. Just enough to keep the
censors happy.

'Miss Adventure'.

Ha ha. Very.

Maitreya and Dana hybridised.

The cutout was holding two guns. Mulder slowly realised that one
was aimed directly at his heart. The other was being aimed from
her hip, right at... Ouch.

The promo material was extolling how this new cybermistress was
even better than Xena or Lara Croft. 'She doesn't want anything to
inhibit her adventures!"

Yeah, Mulder thought, especially not clothes.

Well, the Gunmen weren't responsible for this - though they were
probably getting out of town right now for a while - but he knew
who was responsible. Somehow that prick had gotten it onto the
market, and as a computer game...

"Mulder, what are you -" Scully halted beside him and sucked in a
horrified breath.

Mulder hastily took the baby off her. He watched his wife's horror
rapidly turn into indignation and anger as she stared at the
display. The light of battle was rising in her eyes. He could hear
the wheels in Scully's mind churning out a plan of action and
revenge on the spot. Extremely painful revenge.

Mulder looked down at his daughter. It would probably be best if
she was bottle fed the next time she was hungry, because more than
just Dana's blood would be boiling at the moment...

"It's Ivan season, hon, and Mommy's going hunting."

xXx

Flickering light and shadows painted Ivan's face as his
cybermistress kicked some serious butt on the screen. His
satisfied grin grew wider as he admired Miss Adventure's curves
and attitude. Then he got so distracted that he didn't react
swiftly enough to an onscreen baddy's appearance, and his goddess
lost a life.

Oh well, if THAT was the only flaw in the game, he could live with
it. The customers would too.

He wondered if Agent Scully would shoot him now that the game was
on the shelves. The thought that she would come after him with her
gun was a turn-on rather than a deterrent, he noted with
satisfaction. What a woman!

Then the phone rang - and somehow it managed to do so in a very
ominous manner indeed...

THE END.


Thanks to the talented Gerry Hill for her input into the last
paragraphs!