Lives Reclaimed - Christmas Together
Rating - R
Category - MSR, AU, kidfic
Spoilers - None
Keywords - MSR, AU, kidfic
Summary - From the Lives Reclaimed 
Universe 
Feedback - Please


Donna here - We couldn't help ourselves!  
Honest, this wasn't planned but oh so much 
fun!  Very Happy Holidays to everyone!!

Vickie here -- Feliz Navidad, Joyeux Noel, 
Merry Christmas!  We had a great time and 
wrote this rather quickly so please forgive any 
glaring errors.  We wanted to give you all a 
little present.  See you all in 2010!


Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital
December 22, 2008
1:55 pm

Scully checked her watch again, for probably 
the fourth time in five minutes.  Mulder would 
be picking William up at school now and then 
heading over here to get her.  She'd probably 
forgotten something important for the trip, but 
she knew with full certainty that she had all of 
William's things safely packed.  If they had to 
go buy Mulder some underwear, so be it.

She shouldn't be this nervous.  They were 
going to Mom's house for goodness sake, but it 
was William's first time with the whole family 
and that was nerve racking to her as well as 
him.  Mulder wasn't exactly blase about it either 
considering he'd be stuck in a house with Bill 
for a couple of days.  Bill had never met 
William, well, no one had except Mom and only 
once for her.  William was becoming more 
social, interacting at school as he became 
more comfortable, but this was going to be a 
challenge.  Mom, in her most diplomatic way, 
had inferred that Matthew was a spoiled brat 
and Charlie's boys were teens now.  She 
sighed; there was nothing she could do about 
any of that.

Charlie.  She was worried about him.  She 
hadn't actually seen him since the funeral and 
he wasn't exactly forthcoming in email.  If only 
she could reach him more often by phone.  
Scully couldn't be positive that the boys had 
passed on messages when she got them, but 
for whatever reason, their communication was 
almost down to nothing.

She understood that, losing Rachel had 
devastated the man.  Her death had shaken 
Scully in ways she had never anticipated.  
Rachel was younger than her; she had a 
family, children, and a man who adored her.  It 
had never occurred to Scully that her sister-in-
law would die so young.  A brain aneurysm, it 
still didn't seem possible.  Rachel had been a 
healthy young woman, active, vibrant, involved 
in her sons' lives.  

Charlie hadn't been there.  The Navy that had 
ruled all of their lives for so many years had 
been in control for this too.  He'd been on 
maneuvers and unreachable for over a day 
after she had taken ill.  Kenny, Charlie's oldest 
son, had called Mom, who had dropped 
everything and rushed to their sides.  She 
hadn't gotten there in time either and it was she 
who had called Scully.  Mulder had still been 'in 
hiding' but she was already working at Our 
Lady of Sorrows and had rushed to her 
brother's home to be of what help she could.  
There had been nothing she could do, except 
be there, accept the condolences of friends 
until Charlie could arrive.  Mom was much 
better at those kinds of things than she was, 
but she was there as backup and Scully 
thought the boys appreciated it.

They had moved around like the walking dead 
at first.  Rachel had been their anchor; the 
parent that was home, that made it a home.  
The teens were a horrible age to live through 
under the best circumstances; this was a blow 
Scully could only hope they could weather.  
She was in touch with them, email, phone 
calls, she hadn't given in to Facebook yet and 
knowing Mulder, she never would, but she tried 
to be available, however they were teenagers...

She checked her watch again and shut down 
her computer.  It had gone into sleep mode 
again anyway.  She was rising from her desk 
when Dr. Watson tapped her on door.  "I know 
you're on your way out, but could you give this 
a quick glance?"  He held up a printout and she 
hid her sigh.


St. Mary's Grade School
December 23, 2008
2:00 pm

Mulder popped another sunflower seed into his 
mouth and tapped his fingers in time to the 
tune of Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire -- 
Cha Cha playing on his XM radio.  When the 
doors to the school opened and the first wave 
of children ran out, he got out of the silver 
Taurus and stood by the driver's door.  After 
just a few minutes, William appeared being led 
by one of the teachers.

Mulder stiffened, but the teacher, Ms. Reiman, 
smiled and shook her head.  "All good news, 
Mr. Mulder," she assured him as she 
approached.  "William had a great day.  He 
even participated in music," she said with 
obvious pride.

"Hey, big guy, that's fantastic!" Mulder crowed, 
ruffling William's hair.  "What did you do?"

William shrugged and reached for the door 
latch.  Ms. Reiman smiled and spoke for him.  
"He played the triangle and he did a fantastic 
job.  But I understand you won't be here for the 
pageant on Christmas Eve?"

"No, we're visiting family in Baltimore.  As a 
matter of fact, we're packed and just heading 
over to pick up William's mom so we can hit the 
road."

"Well, you have a great time over Christmas 
break and we'll see you in January, William.  
Thank you again for the picture you drew me."  
Ms. Reiman waved goodbye and walked back 
toward the school building.

"You know I played the triangle in grade 
school," Mulder told William as he watched him 
in the rearview mirror buckling his seatbelt over 
the booster seat.  

William stared out the window, chewing on his 
lip.  "Can you put on Disney radio?" he asked.

"Sure.  But I warn you, your mom's going to 
want classical," Mulder replied as he punched 
the select button on the radio.  Miley Cyrus's 
latest pop song filled the air.

"So, you ready for Santa?" Mulder asked 
casually.  He didn't expect the worried look to 
appear on William's face in the rearview mirror.  
"Want to talk about it?" he asked instinctively.

"I was making sound effects.  In music class," 
William admitted glumly.  'Sound effects' was 
how Mulder referred to the noises William 
made when he was bored or uncomfortable, 
rocket noises and noises of battle.  The articles 
Mulder had read on Asperger's indicated that 
was normal for the child, but it was still 
annoying to everyone else.

"Oh.  Well, we talked about that.  You have to 
be quiet in music class, just like the rest of the 
classes.  Still, you did play the triangle when 
you were supposed to.  That's a good thing."  
William's ability to cut off the rest of the world 
around him and enter into his own little 'zone' 
had caused more than a few problems at the 
beginning of the school year.  Gradually both 
he and the school staff and children were 
making the adjustments.

"But Santa knows I was making them," William 
reminded him.  

Mulder nodded.  "You know, Santa watches for 
the good stuff, too.  You've been working so 
hard at school and that's the important part."

There was silence for a while and then William 
started making 'battle noises' and Mulder just 
smiled.


Our Lady of Sorrows Hospital
2:45 pm

Mulder pulled the car into a visitor's parking 
space and got out to open the back door.  
William unbuckled himself and jumped down to 
the pavement with a little flourish.  

"Nice," Mulder complimented him.  William 
beamed and took Mulder's hand as they 
walked toward the hospital entrance.

Running ahead, William was the first at the 
elevator.  He punched the 'up' call button and 
stared up at the floor indicator light.  Mulder 
waited with him and when the doors finally 
opened, held William back so that the other 
occupants could move off.  They entered the 
car together and William punched the button 
for the third floor.

"You're a pro at this," Mulder told him.

"Number 3.  Left and then right," William 
recited.

"You got it.  We get off the elevator; go left 
down the hall and right at the end.  Which 
door?"

"Pead--peda--PEEdiATrics," William 
pronounced with only a modicum of difficulty.  

"Right, pediatrics.  Mom is a -- what?"

"Doctor," William answered in no uncertain 
terms.

Mulder chuckled.  "Right again.  Mom is a 
doctor.  And I'm a . . . "

"Boy toy?" William answered, a twinkle in his 
eye.

Mulder frowned.  "Your mom told you to tell me 
that, didn't she?"

"What's a 'boy toy', Daddy?"

"It's like a Star Wars figure or a Transformer," 
Mulder bluffed.  "And what do I really do, no 
teasing now."

William thought hard.  "You're a . . . Sultan."

"Consultant," Mulder corrected.

"For the FBI," William added with an emphatic 
nod of his head.

"That's right.  For the FBI."

By the time the elevator doors opened on the 
third floor, William was deep in a long-running 
description of the battle on the ice planet Hoth 
and wasn't letting Mulder get a word in 
edgewise.

Mulder herded the child into the suite of offices 
and smiled at the nurse at the first desk.  "Hi, 
Marcy."

"Hi, Mr. Mulder, William," the young woman 
smiled up at them.  "Dr. Scully got called into a 
quick consult.  She said she'd be no more than 
five minutes."

"How long ago was that?" Mulder asked, trying 
not to show his annoyance and failing.

"About ten minutes ago, so you shouldn't have 
to wait much longer.  Oh, William, did you hear 
about the 'elf' problem we've been having 
here?"

William stopped mumbling to himself and 
frowned. 

"Somehow, elves have been sneaking around 
here all day leaving things behind.  Why, I was 
just in your mother's office for a minute, and I 
found this on my desk when I came back out."  
She reached into a drawer and pulled out a 
bulging Christmas stocking.  "Strangest thing -- 
it says 'William' on it.  But I don't know that 
many people named William."

Mulder could see his son biting his lip.  "Hey, 
that's your name, isn't it?" he poked him in the 
arm.  

"Is it for me?" William asked timidly.

"Well, since you're the only William I know, I 
guess.  I'm not very wise in the ways of elves," 
Marcy said, handing over the stocking.

William quickly dug his hand in the stocking 
and pulled out the first item.  "Reeses!" he 
cried eagerly.  Looking again, he pulled out 
more candy.  "Here Daddy.  You can have this 
one," he said, handing Mulder a candy cane.

"We're learning all about sharing at school," 
Mulder explained accepting the candy.

"I take it he's not a big fan of peppermint," 
Marcy whispered with a wink.  

"Bingo," Mulder replied.  "But the peanut butter 
cups are a hit."

"What's this one?" William asked, holding up a 
foil covered tiny bell shaped candy.

"What does the writing say?" Mulder asked him 
back.

"C - R - U - N - C . . . I can't see the other 
letter."

"Bet it's an H," Mulder said.  "C-R-U-N-C-H.  
What does that spell?"

William thought hard.  "Crunch?" he guessed.

"Very good," Scully exclaimed as she walked 
into the office.

"Here, Mom.  You can have these," William 
said, giving her the chocolate bells.

"Oh my, what sharing," Scully said dryly.  "So 
what did you get, Dad?"

"I got the candy cane," Mulder answered with 
glee.  "If you're nice, I might let you lick my 
candy cane later," he whispered devilishly in 
her ear.

"Not in front of the c-h-i-l-d," Scully warned.

"C-h-i-l-d -- child," William recited, beaming up 
at her.

"Guess that extra spelling work after dinner is 
paying off," Mulder smiled at her.

Scully sighed and rolled her eyes.  "Marcy, I 
guess we're taking off.  The service -- "

"Has your cell phone number, but they know to 
try one of the doctors on call first.  You just 
have a good time, relax and enjoy your family.  
Hey, this is your first Christmas, isn't it?"

Scully looked over at Mulder and smiled 
wistfully.  "Yeah, I guess it is.  First one 
together, all of us."

Mulder encircled her waist and hugged her to 
his side.  "C'mon.  The car is packed and I 
gassed up before I got the c-h-i-l-d."

"That spells 'child'," William supplied helpfully.

"Then let's get this show on the road," Scully 
said, hoping she sounded more excited than 
fearful.


Maggie Scully's residence
Baltimore, MD
6:15 pm

Mulder pulled the car up to the curb and killed 
the engine.  He looked over at Scully who was 
looking out the passenger side window, a 
pensive expression on her face.

"Scully?"

She sighed and turned to look behind her at 
William sound asleep in the back seat.

"No one has seen us.  We could just turn 
around and head right back home," Mulder told 
her, giving voice to a desire so secret she 
would never admit it to anyone, even herself.

"No.  It wouldn't be fair," she said, shaking her 
head.

"To your mom?  She'll understand."

"No.  It wouldn't be fair to William.  This is his 
first Christmas with his family - his real family.  
Families get together at Christmas.  I want him 
to have this.  I've . . . Mulder, I've dreamed of 
this day for so very long."

"Hey, reality always pales in comparison to 
fantasy.  Well, present company excepted, of 
course," he replied to with a trademark leer.

She chuffed a laugh, but grew serious again.  
"It's his family.  We brought him into it.  He has 
a right to be here.  He has a right to meet these 
people, get to know them -- warts and all."

"Now you're making me want to run for the 
hills," Mulder winced.

"Buck up, former G-man," she dared, poking 
him in the arm.  "You get the wild child, I'll get 
the luggage."

"A woman with a plan - I'm very turned on," 
Mulder teased, still trying to lighten the 
moment.

"Sorry, sport, but that just means you're going 
to be taking cold showers for the duration.  
William is sleeping in the same room with us," 
she shot back.

"Is it too late to get a couple of rooms at the 
Super 8 we just passed?"  At her frown he 
shrugged in defeat.  "I'll get the wet blanket, 
you get the clothes."

"That's no way to talk about your son," she 
chided.

"Yeah, well you told him I was a 'boy toy'," 
Mulder shot back.  He got out of the car, 
opened the back door and reached in to 
unbuckle William.  Halfway out of his booster 
seat, William woke up.  

"Are we there?" he asked, yawning.

"We're here," Mulder told him brightly.  "C'mon, 
we can help Mom with the bags."  

Scully handed William his own brightly colored 
duffle bag and the pillow off his bed at home, 
since she knew pillows would be a scarce 
commodity with so many people in one house.  
Mulder grabbed their other suitcases and 
Scully took the shopping bags filled with 
presents.  The three trooped up the walk to the 
porch and William rang the doorbell.

In just a moment, Maggie opened the front 
door and the glass storm door.  "Dana, Fox, 
Merry Christmas.  And look at you, William!  
Come in, let's get you out of the cold."

"Hi, Mom," Scully said, accepting the hug and 
kiss from her mother.

"Mrs. Scully," Mulder said, accepting a hug and 
attempting to keep hold of the luggage.

"And you, young man," Maggie crooned to 
William as she hugged him tightly.  Letting him 
go, she stood and took everyone's coats to the 
hall closet.  "Your Aunt Tara and Uncle Bill are 
so excited to meet you.  And your Uncle 
Charlie and your cousins got in late last night."

"When do we open the presents?" William 
asked flatly.

"Hey, where are our manners?" Mulder 
scolded.  

"When do we open the presents, please?" 
William tried again.

"Not till day after tomorrow, I'm afraid," Maggie 
told him.  "But don't you worry.  We'll have fun 
in the meantime.  I rented some movies for you 
and Matthew to watch in the family room and 
later we can all play a game or two.  Right now, 
I bet you're hungry after that long drive.  Come 
into the kitchen and I'll get you all something to 
eat."

"My old room, Mom?" Scully asked, nodding 
toward the luggage.

"Yes.  I had Bill put a cot in there for William," 
Maggie told her as she herded William down 
the hall.

"We'll put these away and be right there," 
Scully called as she indicated to Mulder to 
follow her up the stairs.

"I'm telling you, Scully, I'm having a hard time 
not getting my hopes up here.  Your old room 
from your teen years.  Finding all those Scott 
Baio posters on the back of your closet door..."

"I can still hurt you like that beast woman, 
Mulder," Scully deadpanned at him.

She came to the first door at the top of the 
stairs and opened it, then stepped aside to let 
Mulder enter first.  He stopped pretty quickly.  
"Um, Houston, we have a problem."

"What's the . . . matter," Scully trailed off as 
she, too, stepped into the room to discover the 
cot, her old twin bed -- and a sleeping bag laid 
out on the floor.  "William Scully, Junior," she 
growled.

"Scully, it's OK.  I'll take the floor.  No big deal.  
We're only here for a couple of nights."

"No, it is not all right."  She spun on her heel 
when she stopped and stormed over to the 
closet, opening up both sliding doors.  "Just as 
I thought," she said angrily.  She stepped aside 
and showed Mulder the contents of the closet -
- a rollaway bed.  "We used it for sleepovers 
when I was a kid.  It's the same height as the 
twin -- we just have to move the nightstand out 
of the way and we'll have a defacto king sized 
bed."

"Bill probably just forgot it was there," Mulder 
tried.

"Yeah.  I'm sure," Scully huffed.  "C'mon, let's 
get it set up.  I know where Mom keeps the 
sheets and extra blankets."

She had the room in a much better order 
quickly, though she was muttering to herself.  
Reassuring her wasn't helping, and he wanted 
to check on William.  This was high stress for 
both of them and he wanted to keep an eye on 
things.  They headed back downstairs and 
Scully moved on to the kitchen.  William 
passed her in the dining room and headed for 
Mulder.

Mulder spotted the younger man as he came 
into the room.  He walked stiffly, not at 
attention, but as though remembering how 
walking was done.  The man's eyes landed on 
William and he came toward them.  The smile 
he attempted looked tired.  

Mulder felt William back up away from the man 
until he bumped into Mulder's legs and then he 
took a fistful of slacks for further comfort.

"Charlie?" Mulder asked.  It couldn't be anyone 
else.  The resemblance with Bill was there, 
though the man was thinner, much thinner.  
With the insight of a profiler or maybe his own 
Spookiness, he realized that on some level that 
he probably wasn't even aware of, Charlie 
blamed Bill for a great deal of his pain.  He 
actually blamed the Navy for the time he had 
lost with Rachel, but Bill personified that.

Will's hand tightened on Mulder's slacks as 
Charlie stopped in front of them.  "You must be 
Mulder and William."

Mulder took the proffered hand and they 
shook.  Charlie looked down at William, but 
didn't offer his hand.  It was obvious that 
William wouldn't have taken it and his grip on 
Mulder's slacks tightened.

"It's good to meet you."  The words were 
correct, but the sentiment seemed dead.

"Scully, uh, Dana's in the kitchen with your 
mother."

Charlie nodded, seeming to smile slightly at the 
name and headed in that direction.  Mulder 
looked down at William, who's fist was relaxing 
slightly.  "You okay?"

"Why is he so sad?"

Mulder led him over to the corner near the 
Christmas tree.  "He lost his wife and - "

"He didn't get to tell her goodbye, did he?"

Mulder shook his head.

"Is that why he's so mad?"

Mulder blinked at that, but nodded.  William 
sighed and his hand found its way into 
Mulder's.  The boy was clearly uncomfortable 
in this setting and with all these strangers.  
Mulder felt little better, but it was for Scully and 
they were able to attend now, so that excuse 
was gone - not that he would have used it.  
She was so obviously happy to be able to see 
her family again.

In a few minutes he looked up to see Scully 
walking back from the kitchen with her arm 
around Charlie's waist.  She was talking to him, 
but Charlie's mind seemed to be elsewhere.  
They stopped in front of Mulder and William.

"Have you met Kenny and Bryan yet?" she 
asked William. 

He shook his head, looking down at his shoes.

"I believe they're in the den, either watching TV 
or asleep," Charlie said.  "They were up late 
last night.  I'll go get them."  He pulled away 
from Scully and turned toward the back of the 
house.

Scully looked up at Mulder, her eyes showing 
her concern.  "I thought he'd be better by now."  
Mulder kept quiet, would he be this functional if 
Scully . . . Don't go there.

"Where're Bill and family?"

"Mom said Tara took them to do some last 
minute things.  They should be back any 
minute."

Charlie joined them.  "The boys will be here in 
a minute, they didn't want to miss some part of 
the movie they're watching."  He seemed 
slightly ill at ease at their rudeness, but didn't 
seem to know a solution.  "We got in pretty late 
last night, so they haven't been up long."

The doorbell rang then and Scully looked up.  
"That must be Bill."  She noted that both 
Mulder and Charlie tensed up at her words, but 
hurried on to the door.

"Ho Ho Ho!" Bill hadn't been able to open the 
door with his arms full, but he blustered in 
followed by Matthew and Tara.   Mulder looked 
them over from his relative hiding place near 
the tree.  Bill looked the same as always, big, 
red-faced, in charge.  Tara looked mainly tired.  
Matthew had grown, even from the pictures 
Scully had shared a few months back.  And he 
obviously hadn't missed many meals.  He'd get 
that growth spurt eventually, to bring him up to 
Bill's height, but in the meantime, the kind word 
would be chunky.  Mulder immediately filled in 
the word bully as well, but that was a first 
impression and based on Mulder's opinion of 
his father so he'd keep quiet.

Mulder felt William's hand slip into his again.

Bill glanced at Mulder, then down at the boy 
and his steps faltered, but he regained control 
and turned toward his brother.  "Merry 
Christmas, Charlie.  Where are the boys?  You 
did bring them, didn't you?"

Mulder watched.  Was Bill really that oblivious 
to the look on Charlie's face?  William has 
certainly caught it if his grip meant anything.

"They're in the back.  Hope we didn't wake you 
when we got in last night."

"Nope, slept like a baby."  

When no one else spoke, Scully moved 
forward trying to ease the awkwardness.  "Bill, 
it's good to see you."

"You too, sis."

Damn, this could have been a bad drawing 
room comedy with mediocre actors, Mulder 
thought.  Scully gave Bill a hug, which he 
turned into a bear hug, lifting her off her feet.  
Mulder kept quiet.  Tara moved forward and 
gave Scully a quick hug, then looked back at 
Matthew, silently urging him to do the same.  

With ill grace Matthew stepped forward and 
allowed Scully to give him a hug.  "Matthew, I'd 
like you to meet Mulder and William."  She 
turned toward Mulder, who manfully stepped 
forward with William in tow.

"Matthew, nice to see you again.  It's been a 
long time."  Matthew looked him up and down 
and his eyes flickered to William.  William's grip 
became painful for an instant.  "William, this is 
your cousin, Matthew.  He lives in California."

William managed to nod, but said nothing.

"And these are your Aunt Tara and Uncle Bill."

"Hullo," William barely whispered.

Maggie came bustling out of the kitchen at that 
point, saving them all from further 
conversation.  "Did you get the cream?  Let's 
get whatever needs refrigeration put away, 
then we can visit."

Mentally Mulder rolled his eyes.  Visit?  With 
these people?  Fun times.  How many more 
hours until Santa came and they could get out 
of here?  He caught Charlie looking at him.  To 
his surprise, Charlie gave him a short nod.

Kenny and Bryan joined them, looking their 
part as teenagers, with low slung jeans and t-
shirts, their hair longer than Charlie's by 
several haircuts and looking like bad bed hair.  
They did seem genuinely happy to see Scully 
and were inclusive of William, unlike Matthew.

Mulder was sure Maggie had picked up on the 
tension as much as anyone else, but she 
continued to be the consummate hostess, as 
everyone gathered in the living room, and the 
kids piled the packages they had all brought 
under the tree for Christmas morning opening.

Mulder silently wished for a smaller, quieter 
Christmas, just the three of them in their house 
in Virginia, but kept his mouth shut.  He sat on 
the floor while William placed their packages 
under the tree, then the boy sat beside him, 
close and Mulder's arm around him.

"I can't believe how much all my grandsons 
have grown," Maggie mused.  "We do need a 
girl though."  She spoke without looking at 
either Tara or Dana, but it still fell flat in the 
room and all conversation, what little there was 
of it, stopped.

"Maybe if Dana gets married some day, she'll 
take care of that for you," Bill tossed out and 
Mulder felt Scully tighten.  Was she going to 
retort?

"Where's the bathroom?" William whispered to 
Mulder and, grateful to get out of the line of 
fire, they rose and Mulder followed William 
upstairs.

Scully found them sometime later in their 
bedroom.  Mulder had William tucked in and 
was sitting on the floor next to the cot, reading 
to him.

"Hey, there.  Ready for bed?" Scully smiled as 
she knelt down next to her two men.

"It was a busy day," Mulder explained.  "And it 
is nine o'clock."

"That's true," Scully nodded.  "Did you say your 
prayers?" she asked William, brushing 
strawberry blond locks from his forehead.

"Daddy helped me," William responded 
sleepily.

Scully looked over at Mulder with a raised 
eyebrow.

"I've been listening," he shrugged.  "And I 
found this on the bookcase over there," he 
said, showing the book he was reading.

"'Moby Dick'," Scully grinned.  

"Here, settle back.  We were just getting to the 
good part," Mulder said, patting his chest.  
Scully shook her head at his antics, but turned 
and leaned back against him.  Mulder moved 
the book to the side so he could continue to 
read.  After a few minutes, Scully looked over 
and saw that William was fast asleep.

"He's out," she whispered.  "I wondered where 
you two had gone."

"I figured with all the excitement it would be 
best to keep him on his usual schedule," 
Mulder whispered in return.

She nodded, getting to her feet and rummaging 
through the suitcase for her pajamas.  "I'm sure 
getting away from Bill was just an added 
benefit," she said and gave him a pointed look.

Mulder took her in his arms.  "In all the time 
I've known him, your brother has had it out for 
me.  But that's his problem.  This is our 
Christmas, our first real Christmas and I'm not 
going to let a few snide comments ruin it - for 
you, for William, or for me."

"Well, fortunately, Bill is getting together with 
some of his buddies from Annapolis tomorrow 
morning."

"I should send them a thank you note," Mulder 
quipped as he watched her change.

"He'll be back for lunch, though." 

"Oh, well, then maybe just a postcard."

She laughed softly.  "C'mon, I'm kind of tired 
too.  And those shoulders look awfully inviting," 
she said, pulling him over to the bed.

"So, can we keep to our usual schedule, too?" 
he asked, shedding slacks and shirt and 
climbing in under the covers.

"As soon as we're back home," she assured 
him, but gave him a kiss full of promise.

*********

Maggie sighed as she chopped the almond 
bark into small pieces and scooped them up 
into the glass bowl.  She popped it into the 
microwave, chose the time and power level 
and then stood back, watching through the 
window as the bits of white chocolate slowly 
melted into smooth, creamy icing.

She wished it were so easy.  She wished she 
could take individuals, pop them somewhere 
and just watch as all the hurt and anger melted 
and they formed a cohesive family unit, free of 
stress.

She shook her head.  Where did that come 
from?  Maggie prided herself on her level head.  
It was one of the things her William had always 
remarked on, one of the things she admired 
most in her youngest daughter.  So where had 
she come up with these wistful thoughts?

She had to be honest, she'd been too 
overcome with joy to see the hardships of this 
family gathering.

It had all seemed so incredible.  When Dana 
had called saying she had news, wonderful 
news, Maggie knew instinctively that it meant 
they had found William.  But not only did they 
find him, from Dana's much truncated account, 
they had saved him - and he, them.  They were 
a family.  It was the dead of summer, but 
Maggie's immediate thought was of Christmas.

"You'll come, won't you?  The three of you?  I 
was already expecting Fox, but to have all 
three of you - "

"Sure, Mom," Dana had told her.  "Of course 
we'll be there."

And so it was just a matter of a few phone calls 
and it was all arranged.  She knew to expect 
Kenny and Bryan, it was 'her turn' to have the 
boys for their Christmas vacation--a task she 
shared with Rachel's parents while Charlie was 
out to sea.  But as luck would have it, Charlie 
had requested a desk job stateside and given 
his recent tragic loss, the higher ups felt they 
owed it to the man.  Then, as if by miracle, 
Tara had called telling her that Bill would be 
home for six weeks starting Dec. 1 and they 
would be joining her for Christmas, too.  She'd 
gone to bed that night and cried herself to 
sleep, but they were tears of joy.

It wasn't that she thought everything would be 
perfect.  She was a mother of four and had 
raised her children with a husband out to sea 
more years than she cared to remember.  
There had been lop-sided bicycles, broken 
crystal and china from small 'helpful' hands in 
the clean up department.  There had been 
tears and rants and time-outs during some 
particularly willful years.  And even when 
William had been home, there had been 
problems.  Sometimes it seemed there were 
more problems when he was around.  

Maggie bit her tongue at that uncharitable 
thought.  But in truth, sometimes William's 
arrival, breezing in from the four corners of the 
world, only served to disrupt the fragile balance 
she achieved by constant hard work and 
vigilance.  Still, it was so good to have him 
home, she didn't really mind.

No, she knew better than to expect perfect.  
What she wanted was 'familiar'.  She wanted 
'comfortable'.  She wanted her children to like 
each other and respect each other.  She'd 
seen the look on Dana's face at Bill's 
inappropriate remark about her marital status.  
As far as Maggie was concerned, Fox and 
Dana were married in each other's eyes and 
that was all that really mattered.  But Bill had 
always had a sore spot when it came to Fox 
and after all the years, Maggie didn't think 
anything could change that.  Still, was it too 
much to expect her son to be on his best 
behavior in her house, to her guests?

Charlie was another matter completely.  Her 
poor baby Charles.  He walked around like a 
wrath, a shell of the man who used to come 
into the kitchen and proceed to engage in 
sword play with stalks of celery.  Without 
Rachel, beautiful, kind, loving Rachel, he was 
only half a man.  She understood the pain, the 
loss.  But what she couldn't comprehend, what 
was too difficult for her to even contemplate 
was the anger and guilt he carried.  He hadn't 
caused the aneurysm in Rachel's brain.  But he 
blamed himself for being at sea, for being away 
when she needed him most.  Where Maggie 
had held her William's hand when he passed, 
as awful and sad as that was, Charlie had 
been robbed of even that simple gesture.  He 
returned to find his wife gone from him.  It had 
been close to a year, and he had two fantastic 
boys that needed him desperately, but he just 
didn't have the strength to give them the love 
they deserved.

The microwave chimed and she shook off her 
thoughts.  Carefully, she took the bowl out of 
the oven and stirred the chocolate with a fork.  
She opened a cabinet and picked the green 
food coloring, tilting the container to allow only 
a few sparse drops in the icing.  

"Smells like Santa's workshop in here.  Need a 
hand?"  

Maggie fought the startle response and turned 
to smile at her one remaining daughter-in-law.  
"Sure, honey.  Could you get out the wax paper 
and cover that chopping board on the island.  
We can put the dipped cookies there while they 
cool."

Working as a team, Maggie and Tara 
proceeded to dip the already cooled sugar 
cookies into the melted chocolate and place 
them in a row on the wax paper.  Tara found 
the candy pieces, pull-n-peel licorice and 
colored sprinkles and each woman created 
masterpieces with the cookies.

"Where is everyone else?" Maggie asked when 
curiosity got the better of her.

"Well, Dana got tired of being Bill's punching 
bag so she went to bed - I'm pretty sure that's 
where Fox and William had gone.  Charlie took 
his car keys and left for a drive about an hour 
ago.  The big boys went into the den and were 
watching something on On Demand and Bill 
and Matty are - " she sighed.  "Playing some 
computer game, I think."

Maggie caught the comment about Dana and 
looked over at Tara.  "What's the matter, 
sweetheart?  You're . . . not your usual chipper 
self."

Tara tried to smile, but it was closer to a 
grimace.  "I'm just tired, Maggie.  It was a long 
trip."

"I know that, but you've had other long trips.  
What's going on?  If you don't want to tell me, I 
understand - " she added hastily.

Tara bit her lip.  "Maggie, was Bill always a 
bully?" she asked so bluntly that it caught 
Maggie completely by surprise.

"What do you mean, honey?  He hasn't . . . he 
wouldn't . . . "

"No, he has never touched me in anger, 
Maggie.  It's not that.  It's not even how he is 
with me or Matt.  It's something I notice when 
he's around his brother and sister.  He's . . . I 
don't know, he's a different person.  At first, I 
thought it was because of his dad's death, he 
felt he was now the man of the family.  But that 
was a long time ago and it's only gotten worse 
as he gets older."

"Bill . . . was always opinionated," Maggie 
admitted.  "Strong willed.  But then, you could 
say that of all of them.  Melissa . . .  "  Maggie 
stopped, smiling off in the distance.  "Missy 
was Joan of Arc on her own terms," she said, 
swallowing back the tears that always came 
with thoughts of her oldest daughter.  "And 
Dana, well, you know how Dana is."

"But it goes deeper than that," Tara objected.  
"And . . . I see it in Matt.  And I don't like it.  Not 
one bit."

"He's eleven, honey.  That's a rough age for 
boys.  I used to joke that they start military 
school way too late for most mothers.  By the 
time they're in high school at least they can 
mow the lawn and help around the house.  We 
need a hand when they're in middle school."

Tara snorted.  "I try to place limits and then the 
minute Bill gets home -- "

"All the rules go out the window," Maggie said 
knowingly.  "I remember those days.  
Sometimes I wanted to wring Bill's neck -- Bill 
Senior as well as Bill Junior."

"He wants to be the good guy all the time.  But 
if he's always the good guy that makes me . . . 
"

"The bad guy," Maggie commiserated.  "I 
understand where they're coming from.  They 
only have a short time to be with their family 
and they want so much from that time.  
Discipline, when meted out, was often too 
harsh for the circumstances or not applied at 
all.  It caused a lot of confusion and hurt 
feelings."

"So, how did you handle it?" Tara asked.

"I don't know that I ever did - or maybe we 
wouldn't be having this conversation," Maggie 
said with a sad smile.

"Oh, Maggie, I don't blame you, I just . . .  I was 
hoping for some sage advice," Tara said with 
an equal smile.

"As soon as I find some, I'll share it," Maggie 
assured her.  She glanced over at the 
microwave.  "Oh, dear, it's almost midnight."

"But the cookies look great," Tara said with a 
wink.  "Well, goodnight, Maggie.  Thanks for 
the talk."

"Anytime, honey.  And if you find an answer to 
that problem we've discussed. . . "

"I'll share it with you, I promise."

"Goodnight, Tara.  Sleep tight."  

Maggie looked at the cookies and with a quick 
glance at the door to ensure she wasn't seen, 
picked up one and took a bite.  It was familiar.  
It was comforting.  It tasted just like Christmas.  
She finished off that cookie, resisted the urge 
to take one upstairs with her and turned off the 
light.  Tomorrow was Christmas Eve and sure 
to be a busy day.

*****

December 24, 2008

The next morning came with three inches of 
fresh snow.  William was thrilled as he woke 
his parents with the news.  

"Just what Santa needs, huh, sport?" Mulder 
asked as he watched over William's general 
grooming and teeth brushing while Scully 
dressed for the day.

"Uh huh," William replied around a mouthful of 
foam.  "An ba slay," he added before spitting.

"Yup, and the sleigh," Mulder correctly 
interpreted.  "C'mon, let's go down and see 
what Grandma has around here for breakfast."

"Peanut butter puffs?" William suggested.

"Maybe better than that.  I smell bacon.  Maybe 
a little maple syrup - "

"Pancakes!" William exclaimed joyfully.

"I'd put good money on it.  And from past 
experience, your mom learned all her pancake 
making skills from your Grandmother.  We are 
in for a treat."

Breakfast was a little more enjoyable since Bill 
had left early.  Matthew tended to sleep late, 
according to Tara, and Charlie and his boys 
hadn't surfaced yet.  It was just Maggie, Tara, 
Mulder, Dana and William for pancakes.  
William dug in with relish and finished off three 
pancakes before asking to be excuse. 

"Just a minute, William.  I have something you 
might be interested in," Maggie said.  She 
disappeared onto the back porch but soon 
reappeared carrying a cardboard box.  "I found 
these when I was cleaning out the garage.  I 
thought we'd given them away years ago."  
She handed the box to the child and he peeked 
in at the contents.

"Legos!" he declared happily.

"They belonged to your Uncle Charlie.  I asked 
him and he said he wouldn't mind if you had 
them.  We can keep them here so you have 
something to play with when you come visit 
me."

"Can I go play with them now?" he asked 
eagerly.

"I don't see why not," Maggie said, ruffling his 
hair.  "Why don't you go in the den?"

"Keep the pieces you aren't building with in the 
box, William, so you don't lose any of them," 
Dana directed.  "Thanks, Mom," she said after 
the boy was out of the room.  

"Well, you said he loves to play make believe.  
Charlie was like that, you know.  Always in his 
own little world."

"Maggie, if you don't mind, I still have two more 
gifts I have to find - "

"Not at all, Tara.  I'll keep an ear out for Matt.  
Did you still want to meet up for lunch?"

"Oh absolutely.  You're coming too, aren't you, 
Dana?  A 'girls day out' before the madness 
tonight?"

Scully looked over at Mulder, concern coloring 
her expression.  "Oh, Tara, that's awfully 
sweet, but I don't know . . . "

Mulder took her hand and squeezed it lightly.  
"I don't know.  Sounds like a pretty good plan 
to me.  We'll be fine here.  William will keep me 
out of trouble," he added with a wink.

"We'll just be gone the afternoon.  We need to 
get back early to put the ham in the oven for 
tonight," Maggie offered.  "What do you say, 
sweetheart?  It's been so long since I got to go 
out with my girls.  We can make sandwiches 
for the boys and then we'll go have something 
fun."

"I'm up for the Cheesecake Factory myself," 
Tara said grinning.

"I'm trying very hard not to be jealous," Mulder 
said, folding his arms.  "C'mon, Scully.  You 
love the Cheesecake Factory."

"OK, OK, you win!" she laughed.  "I suppose 
you expect me to bring something back for 
dessert."

Mulder leaned over and kissed her, whispering 
in her ear, "just you."

*****

"Hey, kid.  Wanna watch South Park with me?"

William frowned, glancing up quickly at the 
figure towering over him and his most recent 
Lego creation.  He lifted one shoulder in meek 
agreement.  He'd really hoped Matthew would 
continue to play with his Game Boy in the living 
room, but apparently that wasn't going to be 
the case.

"Lemme see," Matthew said, picking up the 
remote for the television and randomly 
pressing buttons.  "Ah, fuck!  All the channels 
are messed up!  This sucks!"

"Here," William said, holding his hand out for 
the remote.  Matthew glared at him, but 
handed the device over.  William pointed it at 
the television and quickly found the 
programming guide, then proceeded to click to 
the proper channel for Comedy Central.  He 
handed the remote back to his cousin.

"Awright," Matthew sighed.  He flopped down in 
the reclining chair and pushed it back, raising 
the footrest.  "Hey, your head's in the way.  
Move, why don't ya," he ordered.

William scooted over a few feet and continued 
to work on his structure.  He was trying to 
recreate the outpost on Endor, but he had 
already run out of white pieces and had to 
resort to gray and yellow ones.  

"So, what grade you in?" Matthew asked, 
staring at the screen where Cartman was once 
again declaring Kenny dead.

William ignored the question, so Matthew 
repeated it -- louder.  "I said, what the hell 
grade are you in?"

"First," William answered, not looking up.

"First?" Matthew sneered.  "How old are you?"

"Seven . . . and a half," William answered.

"What are you, some kinda retard?  You should 
be in second grade," Matthew huffed.  "My old 
man said there was something wrong with you.  
They gave you away and somehow you found 
your way back."

William frowned and tried to block out the 
sound of Matthew's voice.  He worked hard to 
concentrate and searched through the pile of 
blocks for the right pieces to make the 
overhang where Princess Leia hid from the 
Imperial Stormtroopers before she was found 
by Han Solo.

"Yeah, you're crazy or something.  Like your 
dad.  If he is your dad.  My old man thinks my 
Aunt Dana was screwing her boss.  You're 
probably her boss's kid."

Tears were forming in William's eyes and his 
nose was starting to run.  He swiped at his 
nose and cheeks angrily with his shirtsleeve 
and found two blocks stuck together.  Putting 
them in his mouth, he tried to pry them apart 
with his teeth.

"Oh gross!  What the fuck are you doing?  
Don't put those in your mouth, you retard!" 
Matthew howled.  "I might want to play with 
those some day!"

*****

Mulder had finally found a quiet room, the 
sunroom on the far side of the house.  It wasn't 
heated, which meant it was about 40 degrees, 
but there was no one else there but him and 
the Washington Post.  So far he'd worked his 
way through the front sections and was 
currently pricing real estate in his and Scully's 
old neighborhoods.  When the hum hit, he 
thought it might just be the early stages of 
hypothermia.  But after a moment, it increased 
in strength and magnitude to the point that he 
dropped the paper and grabbed his head from 
the pain.  The next second he was on his feet, 
struggling to get in the house and find William.  
Something was dreadfully wrong.

He made it through the kitchen just in time to 
hear William let out a blood-curdling scream 
followed immediately by the sound of 
something hitting the wall.  The ruckus was 
coming from the family room.  He made a 
beeline in that direction only to run head long 
into Bill, coming from the dining room.  Both 
men stormed into the family room at once.

The Lego set was scattered on the floor near 
the recliner.  A picture of all six of the Scullys, 
taken sometime during the late seventies by 
the looks of the dress and hairstyles, was lying 
on the floor with the glass broken.  Matthew 
was sitting forward on the recliner, holding his 
hand to his nose.  Blood dripped through his 
fingers.

"That little fucker just hit me!" he shrieked to his 
father.

Bill was beside his son in an instant.  "Let me 
see," he ordered, grabbing Matthew's hand 
and pulling it away from his face.  "It's not your 
nose - it's a cut.  What did he hit you with - his 
fist?"

"No, with the Legos!" Matthew yelled angrily.  "I 
was jest sittin' here, watching TV and the little 
fucker hit me with the Legos.  And he broke 
that picture, too!"

When Mulder had the presence of mind to look 
at his son, he found it was just the three of 
them in the room.  "Where did he go?" he 
asked of no one in particular.

"You better find the little bastard before he 
hurts someone else," Bill growled.  "C'mon, 
Matt.  Let's get you cleaned up.  Where the hell 
does Mom keep the first aid kit" he muttered 
loudly.  

Mulder left the room, hoping the hum would 
return and guide him to his son.  When that 
proved futile, he started searching the 
downstairs rooms.  William was not to be 
found.  Finally he took the steps two at a time 
to the second floor.  He searched the room 
they'd slept in and the bathroom.  He was just 
about to look in Maggie's room when Charlie's 
door opened and he stuck his head out into the 
hall.  "I've got him in here, Mulder.  He's pretty 
upset."

"Thanks," Mulder answered gratefully.  Charlie 
stepped aside and let Mulder into the room.  At 
first he couldn't see his son, but then he 
spotted the child crouched between a dresser 
and the closet door.  "Hey, buddy," he said, 
lowering himself to the floor and pulling William 
on his lap.  The boy grabbed onto Mulder 
tightly and rocked back and forth.  Mulder 
followed suit, rocking them there on the floor.  
"It's OK, buddy.  Just calm down.  Just calm 
down."  He rubbed the child's back, tucking him 
into his shoulder.  "OK, it's OK.  Just breathe 
with me, OK?  In.  Out.  In.  Out."

It took several minutes of repeating the 
process before William's tearful hiccups finally 
settled into deep breathing.  "That's it.  That's 
my guy," Mulder murmured to the boy.  After a 
few more minutes he took the boy's chin in his 
hand and turned his face up.  "Want to tell me 
what happened?"

William's eyes filled with tears again and he 
emphatically shook his head 'no'.  

"Something happened, buddy.  Something 
upset you.  What happened?" Mulder tried 
again.

"I wanna-na-na go ho-ome," William cried 
brokenly.

"William, did you hit your cousin?" Mulder 
asked quietly, keeping his voice steady and 
calm even though it took a lot of effort.

Tearfully, William nodded his head in the 
affirmative.

"Why?" Mulder asked, confused.  In the last six 
months they'd had William back with them, he 
had never hurt anyone.  This behavior was 
totally unlike anything Mulder could remember, 
even in William's worst meltdowns.

"I don't like him," William said bluntly.  "He's 
mean."

"Did he hurt you first?" Mulder asked, still trying 
to find some semblance of reason in the recent 
events.  "Did he say something that upset 
you?"

William started to cry harder and buried his 
face in Mulder's shoulder.  "I wann-na-na go 
home NOW!"

Not knowing what else to do, Mulder went back 
to rocking them gently back and forth.  After 
nearly half an hour, William's hiccups turned to 
sighs and the child dropped into an exhausted 
sleep.  Mulder kept rocking him for a moment, 
then moved to stand.  He was surprised when 
a strong arm helped him to his feet and smiled 
when he realized it was Charlie.

"Thanks.  I'm just going to lay him down in our 
room," he said.  Charlie nodded and went 
before them, opening doors.  When William 
was tucked in on the cot, Mulder smoothed the 
hair from his forehead and leaned over, giving 
him a kiss.

"I think I can shed a little light on the problem," 
Charlie whispered when he caught Mulder's 
attention for a moment.  Mulder followed him 
into the hallway and partially closed the door to 
the room before turning to hear what Charlie 
had to say.  

"Will was provoked," Charlie said quietly.

"He's never thrown a toy at anyone.  He's 
never hurt anyone, not that we've seen," 
Mulder objected.

Charlie scratched at his forehead and 
shrugged.  "Matt was calling him a 'retard'.  I 
also overheard something about Dana 
screwing her boss, that you aren't Will's real 
dad."

"What?" Mulder asked, incredulous.  

Charlie snorted bitterly.  "Matt's probably 
overheard Bill on one of his rants.  But from 
what I could gather, Will wasn't saying 
anything.  Matt just kept needling him 'til he got 
a reaction."  

Mulder stood there, speechless.

"I was headed for the kitchen when I overheard 
it.  I was going to go in and stop them, but I 
didn't have time.  I heard Will scream, heard 
the crash and then Will tore around the corner 
like the hounds of hell were on him.  I found 
him in my room.  I think it was the only open 
door in the hallway.  I didn't know if he was 
comfortable enough around me for me to try 
and comfort him.  He was so scared.  That's 
when I heard you upstairs and well, you know 
the rest."

Mulder leaned back against the wall and 
closed his eyes.  "Shit."  After giving himself a 
moment, he stood up again and glanced at his 
watch.  "Dana should be home already.  I 
should call her."

Charlie put his hand on Mulder's arm, arresting 
his move to get out his cell phone.

"You know if you call her now she's just going 
to be upset all the way home.  They're on their 
way, Mom wanted to get dinner started so we 
could eat by 6 and it's 4:30 already."

Mulder nodded, rubbing a hand over his face 
and resting it on his chin.  "What should I do?  
Apologize?" he asked, half-joking.

"I wouldn't.  And I certainly wouldn't force Will 
to, either," Charlie said tersely.  

"He threw a toy at his cousin.  I can't let that 
slide, Charlie.  You wouldn't let that slide if it 
had been one of your boys, and you know it."

"Mulder, all I know is that Bill's spawn is just 
exactly like him - a trouble-maker.  He's only 11 
and already he has all the personality traits that 
make his father such a top notch asshole.  He 
goes through life making people miserable and 
then plays the victim when he gets the 
response he was hoping for all along.  Don't do 
that to Will.  Don't let Matt - or Bill for that 
matter - turn him into a victim."

Mulder started to ask Charlie to explain himself 
when they heard the front door open and 
Maggie call out that she, Tara and Dana were 
home.

Mulder moved to the top of the stairs and 
Scully looked up and smiled at him.  It quickly 
faded and she hurried up the stairs.  "What's 
wrong?"

Mulder looked over at Charlie.  "You can talk in 
my room, let William sleep," he offered and 
headed back downstairs.

"What happened?" she insisted. Mulder led her 
into the room Charlie and his boys were using.

Mulder sighed and took a seat at the foot of 
Charlie's bed.  He gave her a quick rundown of 
the events of the last half hour.  He hated the 
stricken look on her face, but he didn't keep 
things from her.  The last fifteen years had 
taught him some things.

"Oh Mulder," she closed her eyes and joined 
him on the bed.  "I need to see William."  She 
made no move to rise.

"He's asleep, worn out I guess.  There was 
definite fear that Santa had watched the whole 
thing, but he didn't mention that."

"How could Matthew say something like that?"

"Bill," Mulder said before he could stop himself, 
but he fell silent then.

"Do you think we should leave?"

Yes, yes, yes!  But he took a deep breath.  
"No.  They're your family; we're going to be 
spending time with them for the rest of our 
lives.  We need to reach detente at least."

"I'm so sorry."

"None of this is your fault, Scully.  None of it.  
And as much as I'd like to wring Matthew's 
neck, I'm not sure how much to blame he is 
either."

"Bill," she said dully and he nodded.  She rose 
then.  "I want to look in on William."  He let her 
go and after a moment took a deep breath and 
followed.

She laid an afghan over the boy and there was 
a slight smudge of red where her lips had 
brushed his brow.  She was just standing 
there, watching him.  "You okay?"

"I'm fi-" she caught herself and smiled at him.  

It looked so wistful he wanted to break Bill in 
two; instead he took her into his arms.  "I know 
he's mine and that you are too.  That's all that 
matters." She leaned against him for a 
moment, then straightened and they walked 
downstairs together.  No one else seemed to 
be in evidence, which was a relief and he 
followed Scully into the kitchen.  

"Is William okay?" Maggie asked as they 
entered.

Mulder nodded.  "He's asleep."

"I didn't realize how upsetting all these 
strangers would be to him."

Mulder opened his mouth to give a better 
explanation, but stopped.  If Scully wanted to 
do that, she could.  He was the outsider here 
and he didn't want to sound defensive.
 
"That's part of it, Mom, but I don't want 
Matthew referring to William as a 'retard', I 
won't tolerate that."

Maggie's mouth dropped open.  "He said that 
to William? Oh Dana, Fox, I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," Mulder reassured her.  "I 
think I'll go finish the paper."  He escaped back 
out to the sun room to find Charlie there, sitting 
staring out into the bleak back yard.  "Sorry - "

"No, I took your spot.  It's just not that big a 
house," Charlie said rising.  "Kenny and Bryan 
will be watching out for William.  They won't let 
Matthew get away with something like that 
again."

"You don't have to - "

"Yeah, I do.  William is their cousin and he's 
just a kid.  Matthew can't take on the bigger 
boys; they won't let him pick on anyone else."

"Thank you," Mulder said quietly and Charlie 
nodded, leaving him the cold room to himself 
again.


When he checked on William again, the boy 
was awake, but unwilling to leave the room.  
"Come on downstairs, Big Guy.  Your grandma 
just took some cookies out of the oven."

"Don't wanna."

"It's okay.  I'll be with you."  He seemed to 
contemplate that for a moment, but finally sat 
up, and allowed Mulder to lead him from the 
room.

Scully hurried toward them when she saw them 
come down the stairs.  "William, come on in the 
kitchen with me.  We'll take up the cookies and 
share them with everyone."

True fear showed in his eyes and her heart 
hurt at the look.  She put her arm around him 
and gave him a squeeze, then the three of 
them moved toward the kitchen. 

Maggie smiled when they entered.  "Just in 
time," she said, extending her hand to William.  
After a glance at Mulder, he took it and held 
the plate as Maggie transferred the warm 
cookies onto it.  "Why don't you take these to 
the family room?"

Scully bit her lip for an instant.  "That's a good 
idea.  William, let's go see what's on TV."

William looked up at Mulder, who winked at 
him, and the boy resignedly allowed his mother 
to escort them that way.  Kenny and Bryan 
were sprawled on the couch, with Matthew 
sullen and scowling in the recliner.  There was 
an obvious Band-Aid on his cheek and William 
refused to look in his direction.

"Will, come on over here," Kenny said as he 
and Bryan made room between them on the 
couch.  "It's Elf with Will Farrow.  You ever 
seen it?"

William shook his head, but with Scully's slight 
push, he headed that way and handed the 
plate of cookies to Bryan.  Mulder took a seat 
behind the couch and William looked back to 
ensure himself his dad was right there, then 
turned back to the TV.

Scully ruffled William's hair and laid a hand on 
Kenny's shoulder for a moment.  He nodded to 
her and took a cookie from the plate.  Mulder 
squeezed her hand as she turned to return to 
the kitchen.

She was in the kitchen when Bill found her.  He 
approached her as though his size would 
intimidate her.  Fat chance.  She turned and 
met his eyes squarely.

"Listen, Dana, that kid of yours is a danger and 
I - "

"William is not a danger to anyone.  He is also 
not a retard.  Mulder and my son has lived 
through unbelievable trauma."  She watched 
Bill's face redden but could feel his temper 
rising.  "I will not allow Matthew to taunt him or 
insult him.  If you cannot control him - "

"Control him?  He didn't cut your son's face."

"No, and I'm sorry that happened.  I'm sorry 
that Matthew provoked such a response from 
William."

"Provoked!"

"Provoked."  Charlie stepped into the kitchen.  
The look of disgust on his face was plain and 
Bill flinched slightly from his expression.  "I 
heard it all, Bill.  I was on my way into the room 
to stop it when William defended himself in the 
only way he knew and then he ran.  Kenny and 
Bryan will be helping keep an eye on things for 
the rest of your visit." 

"What the hell are you talking about?  That little 
bastard doesn't need - " The  hand across his 
face stopped him.  He'd forgotten, or 
dismissed, Dana's hand to hand training and 
he staggered back.

"Mom, I'm sorry, but I think we need to leave."

"No.  This is family time.  Those boys deserve 
to know their family, especially William.  And I 
want all of you to behave, especially you, Bill.  I 
don't want to take sides in this, but you better 
believe I will not have any of my children, my 
in-laws, or my grandchildren insulted or 
demeaned.  Do you understand?"

Bill blinked at that.  They all turned as the door 
to the kitchen opened and Tara joined them.  
She took in the tension in the room and 
scanned Bill's face.  She noted the red mark of 
Dana's hand.  "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Maggie said taking a deep breath.  

Scully looked over at her mother.  Nothing?  
That was her response to Tara?  "Mom, really-"

"It's Christmas.  We're all stressed from 
everything we've been doing, planning.  Let's 
try to have a nice, calm dinner and see how 
things go then.  No more running around.  Let's 
everyone try to relax."

Scully had major doubts that would work, 
obviously so did Charlie, but both kept quiet.  
No one wanted a major family split, years of 
recriminations and not communicating.  But did 
she owe Bill any more chances?  It was 
different now, Mulder could, sort of, defend 
himself.  William was her son and the beast 
woman in her was present.  She forced herself 
to take a deep breath and nodded to Maggie, 
then left the kitchen.  She, they, would stay for 
dinner, but no promises after that.  Maybe she 
could take Charlie and his boys, and Mom 
back to their house.  In any case, no one would 
insult her son again.

******

William found a set of stairs leading down.  It 
was a basement, but not like the basement in 
their house in Virginia.  He would often sit on 
the steps and watch either his mother or his 
father go down the stairs and bring up 
something from the basement.  That's where 
they kept the extra cans and boxes of food and 
the washer and the dryer were down there.  
But it was dark and not a place William wanted 
to visit, so he would wait for them at the top of 
the stairs.

This basement, however, was different.  It was 
lighter, for one thing.  He could see the late 
afternoon sunlight dancing on the floor.  And 
the floor looked different, too.  The floor in his 
house was a somewhat dirty gray, even though 
he'd watched his mother sweep it several 
times.  Battleship gray, she'd called it and said 
one day she'd have to mop it but that hadn't 
happened in the months he'd lived with them.  

This floor had what looked like a map on the 
floor -- roads and railroad tracks.  It looked like 
a playroom.  Checking that he was still 
unnoticed, William crept down the steps.  They 
didn't creak like the ones in his house.  As he 
made his way down the steps, he saw that the 
light was coming from three windows set in the 
foundation of the house just at ground level.  
The light was the sunlight coming in from those 
windows.  He felt a little braver and jumped off 
the last step.

It was a playroom, but one that hadn't been 
used in a long time.  There were some boxes 
on a long table and a few mismatched chairs 
along the wall.  On the far wall was a cabinet 
with the doors standing open and he could see 
colored bins.  Going forward, he slid one of the 
bins out and peered in.  There were toy cars 
and truck, just the right size for the 'roadmap' 
on the floor.  

He looked up the stairs and heard more raised 
voices.  They were still yelling at each other.  
He bit his lip and looked back at the bin of cars.  
They weren't space ships but they were sort of 
cool.  He took out one of the cars, a dusty red 
convertible and spun the wheels against his 
palm.  It worked!  He smiled and picked four 
other cars and a truck, having to hold them all 
in his arms to get them over to the spot on the 
floor.  Soon, he was racing the cars around the 
streets like he'd seen in one of his father's 
favorite video games.  Some of the cars flipped 
over and had to be removed from the track.  
He used the truck to take them over to a place 
on the map marked 'garage'.  It even had a 
sign like the one at home where he and his dad 
had changed the oil in their car just last 
weekend.  Soon he was feeling much better 
and was able to forget all about the yelling 
going on upstairs.  He didn't notice when 
someone older closed the door at the top of the 
stairs. 

********

She located Mulder in the study, watching TV 
with the boys.  "Where's William?" she asked in 
a low voice, not disturbing the movie, as soon 
as she entered the room.

"I think he went to the bathroom."

"You think?"

"Scully, he's doing okay.  He knows most of the 
people here are . . . safe?"

"Safe."  She shook her head and perched on 
the arm of his chair.  "What a comforting 
description of my family."

"I'm sorry - "

"You have nothing to apologize for, Mulder.  
I'm the one that put you and William in this 
position.  I didn't dream - "

"Of course you didn't and Scully, even with all 
the stuff going on, he knows he's with us and 
it's permanent and we love him.  I think he 
understands that we're trying to expand his 
family and he and Bryan and getting along 
great."

She smiled at that, though it looked weak.  
"Yes, Charlie's boys are being awfully nice to 
him."  She looked over at the door.  "Are you 
sure he went to the bathroom?"

"No, but that's what I thought.  Why don't I go 
check.  Better me than you at his age."

She huffed but didn't argue, watching him 
leave the room.  He was so good for her.  He 
put up with so much from her, her family, and 
was always there to support her.  Maybe 
marriage wouldn't be such a bad idea, 
especially now that William was with them.  
William could act as best man or something, 
really be a part of everything.  It was worth 
thinking about anyway.

That train of thought disappeared when Mulder 
reappeared at the door, shaking his head.  She 
was on her feet immediately.  "You didn't see 
him?"

"No.  I wanted to check back in here before I 
went upstairs.  I was pretty sure he hadn't 
gotten past me, but . . . "

"Let's look upstairs."  She was already headed 
in that direction; he was on her heels.  It look 
little time to check all of the bedrooms.  William 
was nowhere to be found.

"Scully, don't panic.  I'm sure he's here.  Look, 
his coat is right over there."

"That only means he doesn't have it on, not 
that he's not outside somewhere!  We knew he 
was upset and scared."

"I don't think he's upset, Scully."

"Why?"

"No buzz," he whispered.  "But I should have 
kept a better eye on him.  We'll find him.  Let's 
find out if there's a tree house in the 
neighborhood.  He might have wanted that kind 
of security."

"There's not.  There are almost no children in 
the neighborhood anymore."

"We just checked all the closets and under the 
beds upstairs, Aunt Dana," Bryan said, joining 
them in the hallway.

Scully closed her eyes, fighting her tears.  It 
was her worst nightmare come to life.  "Mulder, 
we have to find him," she whispered.

"He's here.  He's . . . he probably just found 
some place he felt comfortable," Mulder tried to 
assure her, or himself.  "We just have to think a 
minute."

"It's getting dark," Scully said, looking out the 
windows by the front door.  "He doesn't have a 
coat and it's dark - "

"Matty, would you go down to the basement 
and get Grandma a jar of olives?  They're in 
the pantry under the steps.  The ones in the 
black can, ripe olives," Maggie called as she 
came out of the kitchen.  "What's going on?"

"We can't find William," Scully swallowed hard 
and wiped at her cheeks.

"Oh, he's just playing hide and seek, I bet," 
Maggie said.  "You kids - "

"He's not like us, Mom!  Bill and Charlie never 
heard their guardians murdered in the room 
next door," Scully bit out angrily.  "Missy and I 
were never given up for adoption!"

"Scully," Mulder soothed.  "Don't.  She didn't 
mean - "

"Here're the olives, Grandma," Matt 
interrupted, holding a can in his hands.

"Matthew, have you seen your cousin?" 
Maggie asked as she accepted the olives.

"Bryan and Kenny are in the den," he 
answered.

"No, your little cousin, William," Maggie 
repeated.  "Have you seen him in the last few 
minutes?"

Matthew thought for a moment.  "Nope.  
Haven't."  He hurried out of the hall toward the 
den.

Something about Matthew's behavior caught 
Mulder's eye.  "Where's the basement door?" 
he asked suddenly.

"Just off the kitchen," Scully replied.  "But 
William hates the basement, Mulder."

"That's our basement, Scully.  Even I hate it," 
he shot back.  "Let me check, just to be sure."

William was still playing with the cars when he 
noticed it was getting too dark to see the street 
markings on the floor.  Looking up at the 
window, he realized his mistake - it was dark 
outside.  Quickly he got up and sought out the 
stairs in the rapidly fading light.  He looked up 
at the top but it was too dark to see very far.

He closed his eyes tightly and opened them, 
hoping he would be able to see better.  But the 
top of the stairs remained in total darkness - a 
black void.  William backed away from the dark 
and searched around the room.  A streetlight 
cast a little puddle of light in one of the corners 
and he scrambled over to it.  Suddenly very 
frightened, he sat down on the floor, drew up 
his knees to his chest and started to cry.

Mulder opened the basement door and 
searched around the wall for the light switch.  
As he stepped on the first step he heard crying, 
William crying, softly.

"Buddy, you down here?" he called out.

"Daddy?" came a strangled voice.  "Daddy, 
come get me!"

"On the way, sport.  I'm right here," he said.  
He found William easily in the far corner.  "How 
did you get down here?" he asked, taking the 
boy in his arms.  William hung on for dear life, 
but after a few minutes, he pulled away.  

"I found a city," he told his father.  "On the 
floor."  He hopped out of Mulder's embrace, but 
grabbed his hand.  "Over here, come see."  He 
pulled Mulder over to the play area.

"Oh, wow, I used to have one of these," Mulder 
exclaimed with admiration.  "Pretty cool, huh?"

William nodded, absently wiping tears and 
snotty nose on his sleeve.  "But it got dark."

"Did you close the door behind you when you 
came down?" Mulder asked.

William shook his head.  

"I didn't think so," Mulder said calmly, but was 
feeling anything but calm.  "Here, pick up the 
cars and let's put them back.  Maybe we can 
come play with them again tomorrow.  Dad 
wants to check something out."

William stooped down and gathered the cars 
and truck, taking them over to the bins in the 
cabinet.  Meanwhile, Mulder looked at the 
steps and then at the pantry shelves under the 
steps.  There was no way someone could 
come down the stairs and miss William playing 
with the cars.  But William was often so zoned 
in on his play that he could easily miss 
someone entering and then leaving the room.

Matthew had struck again.  This time he'd even 
lied about it.  Mulder was going to have to keep 
a very close eye on his son for the rest of their 
visit.

*****

The rest of the evening was relatively 
uneventful.  It had been decided that they 
would attend the 7 pm service at St. Thomas 
the Apostle Church just up the road.  Mulder 
usually stayed at home when Scully took 
William to church, but he had gone once or 
twice during the fall for various services 
connected to the school.  He also remembered 
the scant times his father's side of the family 
would attend Christmas Eve services on the 
Vineyard.  This year, however, he didn't feel 
pressured to go.  If anything, finding William 
again and still having Scully at his side had put 
him on much better terms with any and all 
universal deities.

They made quite a sight finding seats in the 
crowded sanctuary and easily took up a whole 
row.  William tended to find church pretty 
boring and Scully always kept a small 
notebook and crayons in her purse to keep him 
occupied.  After all the events of the day, 
though, Mulder found his son's head drooping 
and then sliding over to his lap.  With a smile, 
he picked the boy up and let him rest on his 
shoulder.  Together they sat through the 
service as the other Scullys rose and knelt as 
the liturgy required.  At one point, he glanced 
up to see Maggie smiling and him, tears 
glistening in her eyes.  He winked at her and 
her grin only grew.  Then she turned back to 
the service.

Halfway through the Mass, Mulder noticed that 
Charlie was no longer sitting at the end of their 
row.  He looked back and saw the younger 
Scully quietly slipping out the exit of the 
church.  Mulder closed his eyes, just feeling his 
young son slumbering in his arms.  Charlie 
held such pain, such guilt that it almost felt like 
a cloud followed him wherever he walked.  It 
was too much for Mulder to try and empathize - 
he never, ever wanted to be in that position.  
He was a trained psychologist but he hadn't put 
his skills to work for years and when he had it 
had been searching out the deviant mind - not 
the injured one.  He ached for the words to 
ease Charlie's pain.

At that moment, a strange thought occurred to 
Mulder.  Charlie was really a stranger to him, 
but oddly enough, there was a connection.  
This woman sitting beside him, as she had 
through the last decade and a half and this 
child sleeping in his lap connected him not just 
to Charlie, but to Maggie and Bill and everyone 
seated in the pew with them.  It was a heady 
feeling.

"Mulder, you OK?  Want me to take him for a 
while?" Scully asked, noting, no doubt, the 
strange expression on his face.

He smiled at her and shook his head.  "No.  
I've got him.  He's fine."  She nodded, 
reassured and went back to paying attention to 
the service.  Mulder cast one more look back to 
where Charlie had left the church.  Somehow, 
in the next two days, he hoped there was some 
way he could help this man who was part of his 
family.

*****

Mulder was on the floor with William at Scully's 
feet.  The paper from opening the presents 
was pretty much all over the place.  William 
was totally absorbed with his new Star Wars 
figures and the Leggos set of the Echo Base 
and Darth Vader's TIE fighter were within easy 
reach, though not opened.  Scully wasn't sure if 
that was in order not to lose any of the small 
pieces, or to protect it from Matthew.  
Whichever he was definitely keeping away 
from Matthew but seemed to feel better about 
Kenny and Bryan.  

Bryan was on the floor as well, talking to him 
about the race that Anakin had won when Qui-
Gon had discovered him.

Mulder watched Bill pour another Scotch.  Hell, 
they hadn't even had lunch and that had to be 
his third.  He'd started when Mulder had 
opened a gift from Scully - a robe and 
matching pajamas pants.  Mulder liked them, 
plaid, flannel, easy to remove.  He grinned to 
himself.  It was a husband kind of present and 
from Scully.  Maybe someday soon she would 
break down and accept his proposal.

He motioned to William, who leaned toward 
him.  "There's one more under the tree for your 
mother.  Can you reach it?"

William nodded and crawled under the tree, 
returning with a small box.  He handed it to 
Mulder.  "Give it to Mom."  He winked at the 
boy, who handed the box to Scully.

"What?  Mulder, you already gave me - "

"It's from both of us," he assured her.  "Go 
ahead."

She met his eye and saw the uncertainty there 
and felt a moment of unease.  Well, it wasn't a 
ring box, and Mulder wouldn't put her on the 
spot in front of Bill if nothing else.  Shaking her 
head she tore the paper from the box and 
balled it up, tossing it to William, who grinned.  
She opened the box and saw the delicate 
sterling silver chain and pendant.  "Mulder!"

"It's a locket, open it."

She took it from the box and opened the 
filigreed oval.  On the left was William, his 
school picture and he was smiling.  On the 
right, her breath caught, Emily also smiling up 
at her.  Tears filled Scully's eyes immediately.  
"Oh, Mulder."

"Is it okay?"

She couldn't speak, gazing at the pictures, her 
eyes swimming.

"Whadda ya do now, you fuckin' ass?" Bill's 
words were slurred and everyone looked at 
him aghast.  

Scully was on her feet before Mulder could 
even think to help her up.  "What is wrong with 
you?  The man in my life, my son's father, just 
gave me an incredible gift - "

"He made you cry!"

"Tears of happiness, Bill.  Don't you 
understand anything?  God, you're drunk aren't 
you?  It's Christmas morning!"

"Fuck Christmas, if I have to spend it with a 
man who caused so much heartache for this 
family!  He's responsible for everything that's 
gone wrong.  Missy, your cancer, your 
estrangement from Dad, him!"  He pointed to 
William.  "Why don't you see that!"

William was cowering next to Mulder, but 
Bryan was on William's other side, either 
protecting, or also drawing security from 
Mulder's presence.  

Mulder looked over at Maggie's white face, 
then Charlie caught his attention.  The younger 
man rose to full height.  Bill turned toward him, 
expecting support.  The last thing he expected 
was Charlie's fist to his face, causing him to 
crash into the tree and both toppled to the 
ground.  Then Charlie was standing over him, 
legs spread, ready to defend himself if and 
when Bill made it back to his feet.

Mulder had scrambled to his feet as well and 
he had hold of Scully, to keep her from joining 
the fray.

"Mulder's responsible?  Mulder!"  Charlie yelled 
down at his older brother.  "What about you, 
you fucking asshole!"  Bill looked up at his 
brother, blood pouring from his nose.  "Yes, 
you!  You think you're so righteous and perfect.  
You talk me into joining the goddamn Navy 
because it's my responsibility to uphold the 
family honor like you supposedly are.  Maybe 
you don't mind being away from home for 
months on end, maybe it keeps you away from 
your piss ant of a son, but it cost me!  It cost 
me everything!  They couldn't even reach me 
when Rachel got sick.  She was dead before 
they could get a message through!  I didn't 
want to go into the Navy, I wanted to be home 
with my family, but no, you were incensed!  I 
had to join, it was a fucking family tradition!  I 
wouldn't be a good son!  Well I'll be damned if 
either of my sons is caught up in that shit!"

Mulder was scanning the room, if Bill launched 
himself at Charlie, he would take him down.  
He outweighed his younger brother by at least 
thirty pounds.  If Bill attacked Charlie, there 
was no doubt in Mulder's mind that Kenny and 
Bryan would join the fight.  How was Mulder 
going to keep Maggie and Tara from being 
hurt?

"You blame me for that?"  Bill was coming up 
slowly, as though he had realized how volatile 
the situation was.

"You're the one that wanted me in the Navy, 
you're the one that put my name in for that 
fucking assignment, you're - "

"Hold it!  I don't control you.  I'm not 
responsible for the decisions you've made.  
Why the hell are you blaming me for - "

"Like you blame Fox?"  Maggie's voice carried 
over Bill's and for a moment total silence filled 
the room.  Everyone, even William, turned to 
look at Maggie.  

Bill looked like a fish out of water, his mouth 
moving but no sound emerging.  Mulder stood 
completely still, afraid movement would draw 
attention to him.  Scully just gaped at her 
mother.

"Well, isn't that what you do?  If you can blame 
Fox for Dana's cancer, then why shouldn't 
Charlie blame you for Rachel's death?  It 
makes sense to me."

"Mom?  Are you . . . " The expression on 
Maggie's face seemed to take his breath.  The 
man actually seemed to shrink slightly and his 
eyes darted around the room, taking in Scully 
and his nephews before finding Tara's face and 
seeing her agreement with Maggie plain on her 
face.

He sank into the nearest chair and didn't 
speak.  Scully moved toward the tree and 
Mulder followed her, helping her to right it and 
pick up the ornaments that had fallen to the 
floor.  Only two were broken.  Mulder picked up 
the large pieces carefully and when he looked 
up, saw that Kenny had brought him the broom 
and dustpan.  He nodded and continued to 
silently clean up the broken glass and 
scattered pine needles.  No one was talking, 
William hadn't even turned back to his things, 
instead surreptitiously watching everyone.

Maggie continued to sit there as though waiting 
for Bill to answer her.  Maybe she had finally 
gotten completely fed up with everything.  
Mulder looked over at Scully for instructions, 
but she seems as in the dark as he was.  Well 
hell, he didn't have to subject his son to this.

"William, let's go back down to the playroom.  
Show me what you found."

William scrambled to his feet, eager to take 
advantage of the excuse to get out of there.

"Fox, why don't Kenny, Bryan and Matthew 
take him?" Maggie spoke.  It didn't really feel 
like a question.

Matthew?  Mulder caught Kenny's eye and the 
boy nodded reassurance.  "Uh, sure.  That 
okay with you, William?"

From his expression, which Mulder was pretty 
sure mirrored his own, it wasn't but there was 
something about Maggie that you didn't cross 
and this was definitely one of those times.

"Come on, William," Kenny took his hand and 
Bryan moved to his other side.  Bill took in their 
protective stance around the younger boy, and 
seemed to shrink a little more.  After Mulder 
heard the door to the basement shut, he 
silently took a seat beside Scully.

Maggie sighed, then looked at each of them in 
turn.  "This is my fault.  I'm the one that asked 
each of you to come here, to be a family at 
Christmas.  I knew Charlie was in such pain 
and I wanted him to be able to take solace 
from family, to know we were here for him to 
help him through at least his first Christmas 
without Rachel.  I miss her too, she was my 
daughter for many years and I loved her 
dearly.  I hoped that having us all together 
would make things easier."  

She held up her hand as Bill seemed about to 
speak.  "And I wanted my grandsons to meet 
and hopefully bond, for William to get to know 
his family.  That poor boy has been through 
unspeakable horror and he's finally back with 
his real family and learning to fit in.  I hope 
someday he will feel completely assured of his 
place.  To have him hurt in any way in my 
home fills me with a sadness I can't even 
express.   He's my grandson and my heart 
aches for him, for what he still has to face.  I 
knew about the animosity Bill felt for Fox, but I 
didn't dream . . . and I had no idea, Charlie, 
that you felt that way.  I shouldn't have forced 
you all to spend this time together, and to be 
honest, right now, I feel like asking all of you to 
leave."

"Mom - " Scully took a seat beside her.  "I'm 
sorry."

Maggie shook her head.  "I think I'll go upstairs 
for a little while."

"Mom," Charlie stood before his mother.  
"Please, stay down here with me.  I, I need you 
and I'm, I'm sorry I hit Bill."

"You should apologize to him," Maggie said, 
not facing her youngest son.

Mulder watched Charlie close his eyes and 
shake his head for a moment, then he turned 
to Bill.  "I shouldn't have hit you." He turned to 
Mulder and glanced over at Tara.  "I shouldn't 
have caused a scene."  He gave his mother 
one last look and headed out the door.

Scully started after him, but Mulder touched 
her shoulder.  "Let me try," he whispered in her 
ear.  She chewed her lip and shrugged her 
shoulder, then slowly nodded.

Mulder had the presence of mind to grab his 
coat and one he thought might be Charlie's 
before he let himself out into the freezing cold.  
He spotted Charlie leaning against an old oak 
tree, puffing on a cigarette and staring out into 
the light snowfall.

"You aren't going to try and tell me these things 
will kill me, are you?" Charlie joked, but the 
tone of his voice made it come out more bitter 
than humorous.

Mulder shuffled his feet and looked out toward 
where Charlie's gaze seemed to rest.  "Nah.  
Been there myself," he admitted.

Charlie started to reach into his pocket, but 
Mulder shook his head.  "Not for a few years," 
he said with a weak smile.

The younger man regarded the half burnt butt 
in his hand.  "Rachel hated it that I smoked.  I 
don't do it often.  Never in the house or around 
the boys.  Just . . . "

"Charlie, what you said in there . . . want to talk 
about it?" Mulder asked quietly.

"What's to talk about?  Mulder, from what I 
hear, you're the oldest.  I'm not sure you can 
possibly understand."

Mulder nodded.  "Yeah, but that doesn't stop 
me from listening," he replied.

"OK.  So you know what I really wanted to be 
when I was a kid?"  At Mulder's open look he 
continued.  "A cartoonist.  Like Garry Trudeau 
or Charles Schultz.  I dreamed that someday I 
would open any newspaper in the country and 
see my strip staring back up at me."

Mulder drew in a deep breath.  "That would be 
cool."

"Yeah.  I wasn't too bad, either.  Won a couple 
of local contests, got a partial scholarship to an 
art summer program put on by U of Maryland.  
But you know what happened?  Bill.  Bill 
happened.  He talked to Dad and told him that I 
was 'playing around with those pansy-assed 
artists'.  Well, that was the end of that 
discussion.  Since it was only a partial 
scholarship, Dad would have had to put the 
rest of the money.  It's wasn't a huge sum, I 
think it was about $250.  But Dad said he didn't 
have the cash and that was that."

Mulder could see where this was going but 
knew his job was to listen, not interrupt.  He 
stomped his feet a little to get some warmth in 
them.  Charlie finished the cigarette and just 
leaned against the tree.

"So it comes time for me to take the ACT and I 
do pretty damned good, but then Scully kids 
are always overachievers.  I got a 29 on the 
first try.  But Bill was already out on a ship and 
of course, he talked to Dad again.  Suddenly, I 
was applying to the Naval Academy.  I didn't 
want to go to the Academy.  It's the last place I 
wanted to go.  But you know how having a 
Naval officer gives you a leg up at the 
Academy and since I also had an older brother 
already through -- gee, like I had any choice in 
the matter."

"I thought I'd pull one over on them, though.  I 
decided to go nuke.  Bill was on surface ships, 
Dad had been on surface ships, I went under 
the water.  And it was a good gig, for a while.  
Then I met Rachel in New London and I fell 
head over heels.  I was really underwater 
then," he smirked.  "But I thought I'd finally 
won.  I got to choose who I married.  The fact 
that I couldn't believe this gorgeous angel had 
agreed to marry me was just too good to be 
true."

At that point, Charlie's shoulders hitched and 
he choked on a sob.  "I loved her.  God in 
heaven, I still love her with every breath I take."  
He wiped at his cheeks with the sleeve of his 
coat and shuddered.  

"Charlie, I'm sorry," Mulder said, putting his 
hand on the younger man's shoulder.  He was 
surprised when Charlie reached up and 
grasped his hand in a vice like grip.

"I haven't finished," he said through gritted 
teeth.  "About a year and a half ago, I had my 
20 in, I was ready to retire.  I had even started 
putting out feelers for a job in the civilian world.  
Rachel was over the moon.  The boys were 
already making plans for how many sporting 
events we were going to make in the coming 
year.  I wasn't going to tell anyone, certainly 
not Bill.  I knew what he'd say.  He's try and 
talk me out of it, want me to stay in for 30 like 
he was, like Dad did."

"So what happened?"

"Rachel was so excited, she let it slip to Mom.  
And of course, Mom mentioned it to Bill.  Now 
here's where it gets really good," Charlie 
sneered.  "Bill, on his own, goes to the Sub 
commander and arranges for me to get an 
assignment as XO on the Sea Wolf class boat 
just about to be launched.  Second to being a 
cartoonist, it's what I had wanted.  Then he 
calls me, reminds me that I don't have to stay 
for the full ten - that the bump in pay would 
allow me to pay off the house in five years, put 
some cash aside so we could travel.  Hell, 
thinking back I can't even remember all the 
bullshit he fed me.  And God damn me, I took 
the bait.  So we're in the middle of the Indian 
Ocean, running deep, and Rachel . . . Ra-chel . 
. ."

At that point, Charlie just collapsed in on 
himself.  Mulder was able to reach him and 
support him before he hit the snow-packed 
ground.  He held him and just let the man sob 
brokenly.

"He . . . he caused it.  He . . . he as m-m-much 
as put a g-g-g-un to her head," he wailed.

Mulder was having hard time keeping his own 
emotions in check, but he had to get through to 
this man.  "Charlie, Charlie.  Listen to me.  
Please, listen to me."

A few shuddering sobs and Charlie was able to 
gather enough control to look at Mulder.  

Now that Mulder had his attention, he wasn't so 
sure he knew what he was going to say.  He 
closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed.  
"Bill didn't kill Rachel, Charlie.  You know that."

At the younger man's attempted objection, 
Mulder put his hands on Charlie's shoulders.  
"Bill didn't kill Rachel any more than I killed 
Melissa."  Charlie winced at the comparison 
but remained silent.  "No more than I gave 
Dana cancer, or killed Emily or intended to 
leave Dana alone to fight the men who wanted 
our son.  But I feel that guilt, that pain - every 
day of my life.  Even when Bill isn't around to 
remind me."  It was getting harder and harder 
to keep his voice calm.  "You know, sometimes 
I wish he'd just take a swing at me and get it 
over with."

Charlie snorted and shook his head.  "He might 
have glass jaw, but he's got an iron fist," he 
warned.

Mulder smiled bitterly.  "But it would get it out 
of his system.  He might still hate me, but at 
least he wouldn't feel so impotent about it."

Charlie rubbed his own right fist lightly.  "You 
might be right on that."

"And maybe . . . maybe he could forgive me . . 
. for some of it," Mulder added.  Charlie started 
to shake his head again and Mulder gripped 
his shoulders tightly.  "I can understand the 
need to blame someone for what's happened.  
But having been on the receiving end of blame 
that wasn't truly mine, I can tell you that it's a 
horrible injustice and pretty damned hard to 
live with."

"You hardly ever see him," Charlie murmured.

"I wasn't talking about Bill," Mulder replied.  "I 
was talking about my father."

"I can't.  I can't forgive him.  I just . . . hurt . . . 
so much," Charlie choked out, tears falling 
fresh.

"I know, I know.  But if it was hurting someone 
else, someone completely innocent, could you 
at least try?" Mulder pleaded.  At Charlie's 
perplexed look he continued.  "Your mom, 
Charlie.  This is killing her.  All she wanted was 
her family together at Christmas.  So far it's 
been World War Three.  You'd give anything 
for another Christmas with Rachel, right?  
What would you give for another Christmas 
with your mom?  One where she was happy to 
see all of us rather than dreading the moment 
we entered the house and counting the 
moments till we all leave her in peace?"

Charlie thought about that for several minutes.  
Mulder finally dropped his hands and they both 
just stood there, Charlie lost in thought, Mulder 
scrambling to find something else he could say 
to convince Charlie to forgive the one man on 
earth who had yet to forgive him of sins he'd 
never committed.  Finally, Charlie drew in a 
deep breath.  "I don't have much choice, do I?"

"Well, he is your brother.  And Tara seems like 
a nice person so he can't be all that bad," 
Mulder joked.  It worked, Charlie smiled.

"I could make a dumb blonde joke here, but I 
like Tara," he said with a shrug.

"I do, too," Mulder replied.  "So . . . need more 
time?  Or do we go back inside?"

Charlie looked toward the house and sighed.  "I 
don't need any more time.  My ass is freezin' 
off out here."

"Good because mine froze solid a few minutes 
ago," Mulder agreed.  He turned to go but not 
before Charlie grabbed him and hugged him 
hard.

"Let me talk to Bill.  I don't think he really 
knows what he's been doing all these years.  
He just doesn't understand."

Mulder found it hard to swallow as he throat 
tightened up.  "Thanks," was all he could 
manage.

The warmth of the house was almost 
overpowering after the cold of the yard.  Mulder 
hung up his coat and took Charlie's coat to 
hang.  When he got to the living room, Charlie 
and Bill were talking.  No fists were involved 
and Mulder took that as a good thing. 

*****

"Let me get you some tea," Tara said, and 
Maggie nodded.  She and Dana arose and 
followed Tara into the kitchen.  It took a 
moment for Mulder to realize that he was alone 
with the brothers. 
 
Before he could decide how to escape, Bill 
spoke.  "Charlie, I didn't realize.  I thought you 
wanted . . . You wouldn't have gotten that 
assignment, even with my recommendation if 
you hadn't been the best qualified."
 
Charlie looked down at his hands.  "I feel like 
most of me is missing."
 
Neither Bill nor Mulder knew what to say to 
that.  Instead of trying, Bill turned to Mulder.  
"Why don't you marry her?"
 
Caught off guard, Mulder faced Bill.  "I, I 
should."  He looked away to see Charlie 
watching him.
 
"She keeps refusing you," Charlie said quietly.
 
Mulder blinked.
 
"She says no because she doesn't think she 
deserves that happiness."
 
"What?" Mulder and Bill spoke together as 
though rehearsed.
 
"She gave away your son.  She couldn't keep 
him safe and she let him go.  Now she knows 
what hell the boy went through.  There's not 
enough penance in the world for what she did.  
This is her punishment."
 
"How long have you been profiling?" Mulder 
asked.
 
Charlie sort of grinned.  "I'm the baby; I spent a 
lot of time observing them."
 
"I don't want her punished."
 
"How persuasive can you be?"
 
"It took me seven years to get her in my bed."  
He winced when he realized he'd spoken 
aloud.  Bill was staring at him, mouth open.  
Charlie shook her head, chuckling slightly.

"And I thought Bill was the stubborn one," he 
sighed.  "Don't give up on her."

"Never."

Bill looked at him then, almost afraid.  "What 
was in the locket?"

"A picture of William . . . and Emily."

Now it was Bill that winced.  "Emily.  Does she 
talk about her much?'

"Never.  I think she doesn't want to hurt me or 
something."

"She wasn't yours?"

Mulder shook his head.  "I don't know, but 
since Scully's never said, I assume not.  But it 
weighs on her, both of her shots at motherhood 
have been tainted.  Hell, you could probably 
count the amount of time she knew Emily in 
hours, but she was her daughter and she lost 
her.  Then William . . . Charlie, she knows 
better than anyone what you're . . .  Talk to 
her."

"Yeah, I need to do that.  I know she was such 
a help with the boys when . . . When Rachel 
died."  He managed to get the words out and 
seemed more surprised than either of the other 
two that he had.

Bill decided to change the subject, and turned 
to Mulder.  "You asked her to marry you?"

Mulder nodded.  "More than once.  I tend to 
bring it up so often that it's now a running gag," 
he said morosely.

Bill mused on that a moment.  "Maybe . . . 
maybe you should talk to her, Charlie.  I mean, 
I know a lot of people do it that way, never get 
married - but they have a kid - "

"William," Mulder interjected.

Bill actually blushed.  "Yeah.  William.  Uh, 
what's with him, anyway?  I mean, I know he 
went through hell and all but he's a kid.  Kids 
roll with the punches.  Why is he . . . so 
different?  It's like he's in his own little world all 
the time."

Mulder started to bristle at that comment, but 
then realized by the tone of Bill's voice he 
wasn't trying to be offensive.  He was curious.  
He wanted to know.  He wanted to find some 
way to connect.

"Have you ever heard of Asperger's 
Syndrome?" Mulder asked.  At Bill's blank look 
and a shake of his head, Mulder tried again.  
"There was a movie a while back - 'Martian 
Child'."  Again a shake.  "It's a mild form of 
autism."

Bill frowned.  "He doesn't . . . I mean, he can 
talk, he reacts to people - he's not like 
Rainman," he objected.

"No, it's a mild form.  He has trouble with social 
situations.  He's very bright, and I'm not just 
saying that because he's my kid," Mulder 
added with a slight smile.  "But he has trouble 
filtering out what other people just don't notice.  
He hears everything - the hum of the fan on the 
heater in the car, the hum of the lights in 
school.  He feels stuff, too, like the tag on the 
neck of his sweater and it's just as obtrusive as 
if someone were yelling in his ear.  He has to 
wade through everything to get to what 
matters."

Bill bit his lip.  "I'm going to talk to Matthew 
about what he said.  Tara chewed him out 
already for . . . well, that retard comment.  But 
Matt has trouble in school, too.  We've been 
told he's learning disabled, borderline dyslexia.  
He sees a reading tutor twice a week.  I think if 
I explain what William is going through, he 
might understand it better."

"I'd appreciate it.  I know Scully, Dana, would 
too.  She wants to think that's her fault too, but 
it's not.  Maybe if, if she had kept  him with her 
it could have been caught early and he could 
have gotten some help, but there's always the 
possibility that the people that killed his foster 
parents . . ." He couldn't say it, Scully could 
have been killed to get him.  He was sorry 
anyone had died around his son, but that . . . 
He looked up and met Charlie's eyes.  The 
younger man nodded, knowing exactly what he 
was thinking.

Mulder looked back over at Bill.  The man 
seemed to be trying.  "So, can we make nice 
for your mother's sake?"  

Bill flushed and looked at Charlie, who was 
watching him.  "Bill, I don't want to hurt Mom.  
This year is hard, the boys and I are lost.  
William is feeling his way in a situation he 
doesn't know, Dana hasn't been able to be with 
us for years.  We need to talk, sometime, not 
now and not here, but for now, for Mom - "

"Yeah, for Mom and the kids and everything.  I 
never . . . yeah, we need to talk soon."

*****

Charlie entered the kitchen and found Scully 
sitting alone, staring into a cup.  "Dana?"

"Want some tea?"

"You don't drink tea."

"Tara made it for Mom, so I . . . " she shrugged.

"Where are they?"

"They both escaped upstairs.  I think Mom's 
probably lying down.  Tara's just staying out of 
the way.  We really blew it didn't we?"

"We?  I don't see where you messed up 
especially."

She cut her eyes at him, but didn't bother to 
reply.  Then she sat up straighter.  "Where's 
Mulder?  You didn't leave him out there with 
Bill?"

"No.  He went down to the basement to check 
on Will and Bill's talking to Matthew."

Scully closed her eyes and shook her head.

"You got a minute?" Charlie asked.

"Sure."  She sounded tired, but looked over at 
him with concern.  "I was hoping we'd get 
some time to talk, but - "

"Yeah, we need to do that, but right now I need 
to talk to you."

"Of course."  She indicated the chair next to 
her and he took it.  She shouldn't have let other 
concerns keep her from Charlie.  He needed 
her and she'd been too involved in - 

"You need to marry Mulder."

She blinked, stunned at the topic.  "Excuse 
me?"

"You need to marry Mulder," he repeated.  

"I don't think that's - "

"It is.  You need to stop punishing yourself for 
something you think you did wrong."

"What are you - "

"Don't interrupt.  Dana, you can't tell me you 
don't love Mulder."

"I never said - "

"I said don't interrupt.  You're the one that won't 
give in, and it's because you think you don't 
deserve that kind of happiness."  He held up a 
finger as she opened her mouth.  "You think 
that you need to do penance for 'giving up' 
your son.  Hey, I've been Catholic long enough 
to know what guilt looks like.  You'd think 
Mulder was Catholic.  But you win in the 
punishment category.  Look at me, you did not 
give your son up and you did not ruin his life.  
You sent him away to keep him safe and I 
believe you accomplished that."

"What - "

"You did.  Those people that were after him 
were more than willing to kill to get him.  If he 
had stayed with you, they would have killed 
you eventually.  You're good, but they were 
determined.  And if you had been killed, that 
would have killed both Mulder and Will.  You 
do know that don't you?  Mulder can't survive 
without you, he might exist, for the Will's sake, 
but he wouldn't live.  I know, Dana, I know what 
it would do to him.  I'm existing now, and the 
boys are anchoring me.  You kept your family 
alive by making the hardest decision any 
mother can make.  What you need to do now, 
is celebrate.  Marry the man, be happy, raise 
your son and for God's sake forgive yourself for 
doing the right thing!  Okay, now you can 
speak."

Again she only blinked at him.  "I'm not - "

He gave her a slight smile and his eyebrow 
rose.

"I am?"

"Admitting your problem is the first step," his 
tone was pompous now and she smacked his 
shoulder with her fist.

"When did you start profiling?"

"Mulder asked the same thing.  It's not a bad 
idea.  I'm going to need a job.  Think you could 
get me an interview?"

She ignored that, rising to her feet.  She 
hesitated then.  "Charlie?"

"Do you doubt he loves you?"

"No."

"Do you love him?"

"Yes!"

"Put the poor guy out of his misery and marry 
him."

She glared at Charlie then and turned toward 
the door.  At the last minute she looked back at 
him and stuck her tongue out, causing him to 
grin and vanished out the door.  His smile 
dimmed but didn't disappear.  

Scully found Mulder at the snack table, 
gathering up some things to take down to the 
basement.  She stepped into his path.

"Scully?"

"I know what I want for Christmas."

"You're a little late.  The big guy is probably 
passed out from too much of Mrs. Claus's rum 
punch after a long night." 

"You can handle this one."

"I won't get in trouble with the elf union or 
anything?" he asked with mock concern.  She 
glared at him and he assumed a bland face.  
"Okay, what did you finally decide you wanted 
for Christmas?"

"Will you marry me?"

It took him a couple of heartbeats to catch up.  
He didn't bother to speak, pulling her against 
him and kissing her.  Her mind went blank.  
She'd been kissing this man for years and 
enjoying the hell out of it, but now she was 
understanding the concept of swooning for the 
first time.  He couldn't have been holding back, 
not all of this time, but ye gods!

When she could finally speak again, leaning 
against him since her legs were still unsteady, 
she looked up.  "Was that a yes?"

He laughed out loud, as happy as she could 
ever remember hearing him.  "What 
happened?"

"Uh, well Charlie - "

"Think he'd be my maid of honor?"

"Not best man?"

"That's William."

The sight of him blurred as her eyes filled but 
she nodded.  "When?"

"Are priests all busy today?"

She chuckled then.  "No, but we don't have a 
license.  I was thinking June."

"And I was thinking before January.  You 
honestly think I'm going to give you time to 
change your mind?"

"I'm not going to change my mind, Mulder.  I 
haven't in the last seventeen years, and I've 
got no reason to now."

"Still, the man has a point.  How about New 
Year's Day?"  The voice coming from behind 
them scared them both, especially when they 
turned and saw the source - Bill.

He smiled at their joint astonishment.  "Think 
about it, short stuff.  We're all here through 
New Year's weekend.  I'm sure you can get the 
paperwork handled in that time.  Make for a 
nice way to ring in the new year, wouldn't it?"

Scully was the first to recover.  She walked the 
few steps over to her brother and dragged his 
shoulders down so she could run her hand 
across the back of his neck.  "Who are you - 
and what have you done with my asshole 
brother?" she growled.

He batted her hand away.  "Hey, I know I'm 
thick as a brick, but even I can see the guy's 
not going anywhere.  Why not make an honest 
man out of him?"

She frowned slightly.  "Now I know I'm 
hallucinating," she said, crossing her arms.  
"What happened to 'he's only going to ruin your 
life, Dana'?"

Mulder finally recovered enough to step in, 
astonishing even himself when it was in Bill's 
defense.  "It's pretty revealing when you stand 
accused of something you weren't even aware 
of doing, isn't it?" he said in Bill's direction, but 
with a sympathetic look.

Bill dropped his gaze to the floor.  "Yeah.  Very 
revealing.  I had no idea -  "  He drew in a deep 
breath and looked Mulder in the eye, extending 
his hand.  "I have been an asshole to you for 
as long as I've known you.  I'm not usually like 
that.  I really was raised better than that.  
Please accept my apology."

Mulder grasped the outstretched hand and 
shook it firmly.  "Accepted.  Gratefully."

"So, about this wedding thing . . . " Bill said, 
changing the subject as only true manly men 
can do.  "Seriously, tomorrow is Friday, the 
county courthouse is open.  Go down there, 
get the license - "

"Do I get any say in this?" Dana interrupted.

All conversation ground to a halt as she eyed 
both of the men standing sheepishly before 
her.  After letting them both squirm for a few 
heartbeats she shrugged.  "Oh, all right.  It just 
means I get to hit the after Christmas dress 
sales a little harder this year."

Mulder reached out his arm and pulled her to 
his side.  "You're sure."

"I really don't care when and I'm not that 
interested in where.  I just want you to be 
there.  And William.  And if the rest of the 
family can see it, who am I to stand in the 
way?"

"Stand in the way of what?"  The three turned 
and saw Maggie coming down the stairs, a 
tissue still clutched in her hand.  "What's going 
on now?" she sighed tiredly.

"I think I'll go see what we can do to salvage 
that dinner we screwed up.  I'll be in the 
kitchen," Bill said and as he passed Mulder he 
distinctly heard the other man mumble 
'chickenshit' close to his ear.  Bill just beamed.

"Dana, what is going on?" Maggie asked again, 
crossing her arms and glowering.

"May I?" Mulder asked his partner.  "It's 
traditional."  Scully rolled her eyes but smiled 
and nodded her approval.

"Maggie, your daughter just proposed to me 
and I'd really like to have your permission to 
marry her," he said, taking the older woman's 
hand in his.

Her eyes grew wide and she seemed to not 
breathe for a moment.  Mulder began to panic 
but then with tears flowing freely, Maggie 
grabbed him by the shoulders and hugged him 
for dear life.  

"Yes.  Yes, of course!  Of course you have my 
permission," she choked out.

The roast was a little dry, but the gravy 
covered a multitude of sins.  Bill proved that 
even officers in the Navy could make mashed 
potatoes and with Tara's help the meal was 
recovered and dinner was served just an hour 
and a half behind schedule.  Maggie had 
demanded a full explanation of what had 
occurred in her absence, but no one seemed 
willing to go through it all again.  Finally, she let 
the matter drop and settled in to enjoy a very 
different atmosphere.

Bill was loading the dishwasher when Charlie 
came in with a load of plates.  Bill looked over 
at his brother.  "I loved her, too, Charlie.  She 
was . . . she was the best sister-in-law I could 
have had."

Charlie bit his lip and nodded but before he 
could turn away Bill had him in a bear hug.  
"Let it go, Charlie," he said with a hitch in his 
voice.  "Just let it go."

That's how Mulder found them a few minutes 
later.  Charlie broke away, wiping at his eyes.  
"So, I guess we have a lot of work ahead of us.  
A wedding, huh?"

"Yeah, a wedding.  In a week," Mulder said.  "I 
was wondering - um, Dana's asked Tara and 
her mom to be her attendants.  Would you two 
mind - "

Charlie chuckled and looked over at Bill.  
"Another bachelor party?" he asked.

"Do you think the prosecutor ever decided to 
drop the charges after the last one?" Bill 
replied cryptically.

"We're not in jail," Charlie pointed out.

"True, but we've both been at sea," Bill 
responded.

"Maybe I'll just go stag," Mulder interjected.

"No, no.  It's a family affair," Bill objected.  "I'm 
sure we can find a place that will let us in.  We 
might have to go one county over."  He clasped 
his hand on Mulder's shoulder.  "We'd be 
honored to stand up with you."

"Or lean near you, as the case may be," 
Charlie added.

To be continued . . . after the New Year.